FTG - utterly destroyed me

So, I wake up this morning not feeling well, thinking the cold from last week has returned. Suck it up beotch, I say to myself. All the way to work I have this feeling in my gut which I couldn't really put to words. It was more of a butterfly feeling than nausea. Similar to people who are about to speak in public, who would rather poke their eyes out instead.

As I walk up to the entrance at work, there are poeple protesting, something about this and that - clearly union I say to myself. A few hours go by and then all hell breaks lose. People are screaming and running around, that's all I could see through the dust.

Once the dust settles, I walk around to investigate and drop from the 8th floor to the 7th floor through this massive crater where our mailboxes used to be. I land on one knee and look around thinkikng, "WTF just happened???".

Suddenly, I'm hit in the face with this red hot, burning to the touch, smoldering USPS package. "Thanks jackwagon" is what I hear, as I turn my head to see who threw it at me. "Now get the hell out of here." I sneak back to my desk, only to hear people grumbling about the mailroom workers - they apparantly went on strike as two workers were injured touching the very same package I hold in my hands. Finally, I open the package and find this:



Brett decided to take out 5 items from my wish list. I can't thank you enough bro, so I hope this little story amused you. I will coordinate an attack once I'm able to recover. Thank you very much sir, I really appreciate this. I'm floored you did this.

P.S. I would post the note but there's a bad word on it!