Smoking and the kids!

Adcurium

I found that my daughter picks up on EVERYTHING. I'm sure all one year olds are like this but she watches us and mimicks everything we do. Obviously, that's how kids learn the machanics of eating, the social conventions of conversation and interaction, etc. In fact, I never realized how ridiculous I am when I chew gum until my daughter looked at me and started this exagerated chewing/smacking/clicking routine. My wife looked at me and said "That is exactly how you are chewing that gum." So, I decided that I never want my daughter to even see me smoke. I won't ever be smoking in her presence until she is old enough to understand why it is ok for me but not for her, why I don't want her to ever smoke, etc. We had friends over on Saturday for coctails on the deck and I let them know we wouldn't be smoking cigars until after my daughter went to bed. Is it a double standard? I don't know. Anyone have any thoughts to offer?

illinoisgolf99

Seeing as it's your child and not theirs, you are entitled to do whatever you see fit

NYHCx516x

i think it is a double standard, but as a parent, you are totally allowed to have a double standard!

Sandman1am

bandyt09

Having 2 young daughters of my own I know what you are saying. I have never blatantly smoked in front of my daughters for 2 reasons; 1) like you I want them to be old enough to understand 2) second hand smoke. My kids are not old enough to understand about 2nd hand smoke and the hazards that it imposes, where as my friends do and they can leave if they wish, no hard feelings. I have always smoked my cigars after my kids have gone to bed or when they are not home; now that they are getting older my cigar smoking is getting later and later. I hope that your friends understand where you are coming from and still are able to enjoy your company, cigars or not. I do not think that it is a double standard, I think it is called parenting.

Fourtotheflush

I am with you - I have smoked with my kids around twice. Once they caught me and I ditched my gar the other time they were too pre occupied to notice what I was doing. But I dont want them picking up this habit based on what they see me doing. I want them to make their decision unbiased.

Krieg

I would be more worried if you didn't care about things like that.

Smoke=Fire

Fourtotheflush:

I dont want them picking up this habit based on what they see me doing. I want them to make their decision unbiased.

This

rossdavey2

I have a great amount of respect for you after reading this post. I have seen way to many "fathers" that don't care what their kids see them. Also the fact that you are willing to give up doing something you enjoy for the sake of your kid shows what kind of man you are. In my book what a real man/husband/father should be. If your friends have any problem with this chances are they are dumb, or not real friends in the first place. Your don't have a double standard at all. You don't have sex in front of your kid, and I'm sure you still do that when they cant see you ;-) Once again much respect.

Russ55

Sandman1am

illinoisgolf99

KCW

illinoisgolf99:

Seeing as it's your child and not theirs, you are entitled to do whatever you see fit

+1.. We all (as parents) have to do what we feel is best for our Children. Quite frankly; if someone doesn't like it... Tough $heet! Remember. There are no bad kids. Just bad parents.

kuzi16

sirfoster83

Hawk55

Wow this is a tough one , but one I am sure all responsible parents have given a lot of consideration. I have an eighteen year old son. He has never seen me smoke or take a drink. I know that both are not exactly good for you, but by the same token the decision to partake is one that an adult should be allowed to make on his/her own. Neither my wife or my son have ever seen me smoke a cigar. Both know that I do smoke them, my wife has even gifted me cigars that I like. My son has even asked when can we light one up together.... At this point I am trying to decide will this be a wise decision to do with my son, graduation is upon us and it would be a good opportunity or would it?

sirfoster83

Hawk55:

Wow this is a tough one , but one I am sure all responsible parents have given a lot of consideration. I have an eighteen year old son. He has never seen me smoke or take a drink. I know that both are not exactly good for you, but by the same token the decision to partake is one that an adult should be allowed to make on his/her own. Neither my wife or my son have ever seen me smoke a cigar. Both know that I do smoke them, my wife has even gifted me cigars that I like. My son has even asked when can we light one up together.... At this point I am trying to decide will this be a wise decision to do with my son, graduation is upon us and it would be a good opportunity or would it?

Thats a tough one. Luckily my oldest is seven, gives me some time to ponder. I'm really hoping that the boys and I still have some common interests at that point. As for the smoking together, I guess it would come down to if they are going to do it anyway. Why not? Then again do you want to be the one to get him started? Let me know the out come. Thats a tough one!

sittingbull

What can I say that hasn't been said......have 2 sons.....great they are.....being of sound mind...they are both 19 and 22.....we do partake of the leaf......not all the time but occasionally .....I enjoy the time that we have to sit down and smoke....they will often open to me things they would not other wise....I like to refer to it is, " male bonding time."....my wife knows that we do it on occasion...to be quite honest neither can afford....that why they come to me for the smokes.....my oldest graduated from college this past wkend.....what could there be a better cause to light one up.....it is a nice treat for me to have someone near and dear to me to light up with.....yes, I know there are other things we could do ....but sitting outside in the backyard talking about old little league days with a stogie... what can I say....I am guilty ....

bocards

Wow !!! This one for me is tough also...I have a 16 yo daughter and a 4 yo son (who btw wants to do everything daddy does)...I also try to not smoke around the kids or even the wife....they do not enjoy the smell nor do I want them to get any second hand smoke...anyways as was bound to happen they came home one day as I was outside partaking of an Ashton VSG and the my son being curious wanted to know if he could smoke with me....long conversation later he finally got my point of things for adults and things for kids when I explained the whole I dont drink your juice box....you dont smoke my cigars !!! Still working on it....but good topic !

Adcurium

Great discussion, gentlemen! While we all might not be in the same pew, we are all at least in the same church. We want what's best for our kids. And that's the only simple truth. Someday they will all make their own decisions and the most we can hope for is that we have given them a solid background to be able to make a sound decision. I think there are vast differences between young children watching you smoke and young children watching you cook (or use power tools, or climb a ladder, etc.) but in the end we want to keep them from harm's way. It's not an easy task, but it is certainly a noble pursuit. We will all fail, in one way or another, as parents. You just can't bat 1000. But in the morning you put your feet on the floor and you hope to do a better job than you did the day before. And hopefully when our children are adults they will have a good enough health plan so as to get weekly therapy sessions. I expect to use the phrase "Tell it to your therapist in 20 years" quite often. And here we are on Thursday. I just want ot get through the week with as few casualities as possible. And I'm hoping to duck out of the office for a cup of strong joe and this Romeo & Julietta rothchilde that's been taunting me all morning...