Stuff

I have been reading Ozzie and some other posts on here about issues with families, sickness, etc. and thought I would write one too. First, I feel for everyone going thru this stuff, as my family has been as well----but I have not written until now. Seems by not writing it is easier to deal sometimes, but I think getting it out and getting some good wishes will do good for my spirits and my family.

In January, my dad was taken via ambulance to the hospital with chest pain...no heart attack, but they did find a grapefruit sized tumor on his lung. He smoked pack a Marlboros a day for 35 years, and sure enough...Stage 4 lung cancer with mets to the lymph nodes in his armpit, and also in the shoulder and hip. No one would give a prognosis, but the stats said 1/2 of people with stage 4 would be dead within 6 months.

Well, its been 6 months today...and dad is alive. He has just finished chemo, and seen a 20% reduction in tumor size. He starts radiation in 2 weeks. He still works as he can (however he is in danger of losing his job because of hours) but is pretty positive. He has lost weight and is weak and nauseous...but still kicking. It has been, and continues to be, tough because everyone knows the ultimate outcome with Stage 4 lung cancer---and usually sooner than later. He has been staying with my wife, kids, and I about half the time as he goes to a cancer hospital near where we live. It has been a great break for my mom and sister to have time to process while he is with us..and also great for my babies to see grandpa so much, as they may not get to for too much longer----but we remain hopeful

Thanks to those of you (you know who you are) who did know about this and your prayers and good wishes. I know I can be a pr!ck here sometimes, but it is my place to enjoy smokes and talking alot, and also to get out some frustration and anger about life...sorry I sometimes do that at the expense of others. I love this board and everyone here for making the day always a little brighter for me and something to look forward to when some days are quite freakin grey. Sorry to burden everyone with this heavy stuff, but it feels good to put it out there and open up a little and I figure prayers and good wishes can only help. Thanks again to all of you....One Love.....Dave

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Comments

laker1963

Keep a positive thought Dave. Your dad has lasted this long and seems to be showing some improvement.

I was thinking about that the other day. It seems we are coming to a point in life where people around us like our parents will be suffering health problems or even dying. It's that crappy time of life where the old gaurd start to think of passing the ball on to the "next ones". One day it will be our turn. Let's hope we can pass it off as well as our parents did.

It's that circle of life thing bro'. Your dad and your family are in my thoughts Dave.

cabinetmaker

I know you don't believe in prayer or God, but I'll pray for you and your family anyways. Hang in there, went through a bout with both my parents having major heart attacks not too long ago. Thought I might lose them both, but they hung in there; hoping your dad does the same.

jsnake

Hey bro, you are in my thoughts and prayers. My mom died from stage 4 lung cancer so I know the pain, frustration, anger, and mixed emotions you are feeling. They gave my mom a few months to live and she fought and fought for 4 more years. She actually went into remission several times and we had high hopes. The last round was stage 4 and though they gave her months she fought hard. I strongly believe it was her attitude that she was not going to die that kept her going so long past what the stupid doctors said. If a person decides to give in a die I think they will. So keep your dad's spirits up. Help him fight this fight and give him a reason to keep fighting. If you need to talk let me know.

sightunseen

Dave, I'm sorry to hear about your father. I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts. Keep your head up and hang in there.

Alex Williams

hey man. I love ya (no homo). anything you EVER need just lemme know. you will always have a place to stay if you find yourself in birmingham and i will be praying for you and your family. no one deserves what yall are going through.

wwhwang

You and your family will be in my prayers, Vulchor. Hope things will turn out for the best and that your dad has more luck than my grandmother did when she was battling cancer.

jship079

I will pray for you and your family. All we can do is enjoy the short time we have here.

Vulchor

Thanks everyone, it means a lot guys...truly does. As far as me and god Cabbi---I might really wrong on my take, may even find religion again some day...and would most appreicate your and everyones prayers for my dad. He is certainly "fighting the good fight" and Im with him every step of the way, and its a huge relief to know you got people to be with me as well. Thanks to all.

fla-gypsy

Prayers sent

ljl

I'll be thinking of you. Sorry you and your family have been going through so much lately. Staying positive in times like that can be hard, but it helps those around you. Seems like you have has a bit of positive news, I hope that keeps coming.

lilwing88

Sorry about your Dad, Vulch. I couldn't imagine losing my Dad. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. My thoughts and well wishes are with you and your family. Our parents take care of us for most of our lives, unfortunately, there comes a time when we have to return the favor. Keep staying hopeful and positive for your Dad. It will help.

ENFIDL

Sorry to hear about this brother! I remember losing my grandfather to cancer and it was so hard. My thoughts, well wishes and prayers are going to include you and your family! Keep us updated and stay strong man!

Vulchor

On Update here because life is rough......

Dad is still alive, though things are getting worse. Chemo had worked well until about 2 months ago...now nothing. Tarveca was precribed, and was a $4,000 useless pill. He also suffered a heart attack 2 weeks ago, minor, but bad enough. He has lost more weight, more unsteady on his feet, and more tired than ever. Not sure of timeframes as he sees the oncologist tomorrow, but the end of the year would be hopeful at this point I think----and I hope like hell Im wrong, but maybe it would be better to end the pain. I think that I cant cry anymore or get any lower thinking about all this---and then the next day comes and it gets worse. Sorry to be the downer guys, just stressed knowing I have to go to Dr. with him tomorrow. Life moves so fast sometimes, cant slow it down....dont know if doing so would even be a good thing. Thanks for the wishes over the last months and year, just had to do a little catharsis this morning on here.

Hawk55

Hey V....hang in there Bro...do your best to be there for him. It has to be rough but you can endure. Stay Strong.

sightunseen

Sorry to hear that, man. We're all here for you.

laker1963

Dave, I really feel for you bud.
My wife lost her mom to lung cancer about two years ago at around this time of the year. It is rough.
I have thought about you and your dad's situation a few times since then, because Wendy never had the chance to say goodbye to her mom. She went to her mom and stayed with her for a week. When things looked like they were improving a bit she came home to wait for her eventual return to her mom's bedside. Instead when she got home (we live about 800 miles away) we got a phone call within 3 hours... her mom had passed.
I hope in your case that you have had time to spend with your dad and have had plenty of time to say your goodbyes. Some of us here are at the age when we have to start to face these types of things with our parents, one of lifes hard teachings, the circle is complete.
Contact me anytime bro' (you know that) by PM and unload anytime you feel the need.

YankeeMan

You're in our thoughts. Try to maximize the time left you have with him. Hopefully he can beat the odds.

Lasabar

Don't worry about being the "Downer" you have to deal with this in your own way, and you could never bring this close group of guys down around here!

Many BOTL's are thinking of you and your family, hang in there, and if this is the best way to relieve stress... Then DAMMIT you post every single HOUR!

You are in my thoughts and prayers

cabinetmaker

Hang in there, Dave, lotta good people here praying for ya.

Vulchor

Appreciate it guys, sitting here at the cancer center waiting on dad's appt. At least they have free wi-fi:)

Dude Love

Best wishes man. Your old man sounds like a fighter, hope he kicks it for good.

kaspera79

Your family is in my thoughts Vulchor.. I hope the doctors have some positive news for you.

phobicsquirrel

Hang in there buddy. I would say as far as some political stuff goes we all go a bit far at times, but I really feel that even though some of us (me) can be a bit brash and all, I think if all of us got together we'd have a good time. I feel like a lot of you guys are like family and F*uck, family fight all the time. But really I hope your dad pulls through. Sucks about all the trauma though. Cancer really sucks, as do most illnesses that eat away the body. A lot of my family have been dropping out of life lately, sad thing is many of them were in their 40's. I don't really pray or anything which is why I don't usually reply to threads asking for prayer but I do wish you the best and hope for a good outcome both for you and anyone else.

I guess I look at death a little different than many; including my wife. I've never really been hit hard by death, maybe it's because I was around so much in the Army and had seen so many close friends die. Maybe I just haven't had anyone super close die yet. Time will tell as my father will probably go before my mother and maybe I'll crack, I do not know. Again I really hope things turn out well for ya.

PuroFreak

Hang in there man. I know we don't always see eye to eye since I'm a cold hearted right wing nut who hates old people and children, and you're a pinko commie who smokes pot and plants trees all day, but I'm still here for ya bro! LOL Positive thoughts and prayers coming your way man! Keep us posted and let us know if there is anything we can do.

phobicsquirrel

PuroFreak:
Hang in there man. I know we don't always see eye to eye since I'm a cold hearted right wing nut who hates old people and children, and you're a pinko commie who smokes pot and plants trees all day, but I'm still here for ya bro! LOL Positive thoughts and prayers coming your way man! Keep us posted and let us know if there is anything we can do.

lol...hey I hate children too. - oh *** I'm turning to the right side!!!!

PuroFreak

phobicsquirrel:
PuroFreak:
Hang in there man. I know we don't always see eye to eye since I'm a cold hearted right wing nut who hates old people and children, and you're a pinko commie who smokes pot and plants trees all day, but I'm still here for ya bro! LOL Positive thoughts and prayers coming your way man! Keep us posted and let us know if there is anything we can do.
lol...hey I hate children too. - oh *** I'm turning to the right side!!!!

Lmfao

Vulchor

Thanks again Squirrel, Puro, and the rest-----$hit here would be as fun if we all got along all the time anyway. Dad's news would be considered poor for most....but where we are, it wasnt the worst. Several of his tumors have continued to grow, and the Tarveca has not worked (medication chemo). However, he has had little new tumor growth and there is (another) clinical trial that he can get into in about 6 weeks. Shows some promise, but we remain well aware this kind of cancer is terminal-----but miracles arent dead yet is what we keep saying. He will be getting radiation for the one tumor for 8 days as it is causing him alot of pain----between golf and tennis ball sized under his armpit. After that, he starts the clinical trial in 4 weeks.

We remain optomistic yet honest with things, but the Dr. still wont mention death or timeframes...stating she hopes he is still around for my sisters high school graduation next year, but options are getting fewer..........So as it is with cancer, not great news...but not the worst we could have either. Its a f'in roller coaster man, an f'in roller coaster.

lilwing88

Best wishes and prayers to your dad, Vulch. Keep your head up for him....