Cigar Horror Stories

Gentleman

docedwards

This story doesn't rate "horror" for me but it was amusing. My wife's brother-in-law came for a visit. He is an OK guy but he's an "expert" and always wants to tell you how you should do everything. He claims to smoke premium cigars occasionally. I offered him a CAO Black and he proceeded to lick it from end to end like a lollipop. I'm only surprised that he didn't lick it after he lit it.

interpim

LOL... licking a cigar funny... Mine is when I offered my stepfather a cigar, and as we are walking outside with our sticks I hand him a cutter, and he says he doesn't need it... he bit off the end. Then, he lights it with the .79c bic he had then takes about 6 puffs and puts it out. 30 minute later he comes out and relights it with the bic. He relighted and put out that same cigar for 3 days! Next time i'll save the Rocky Patel, and hand him a swisher.

Krieg

I would have been livid if I gave someone a Ruination and they just threw it into a fire pit, I would have ripped that dude a new ***

kuzi16

Vulchor

docedwards:

This story doesn't rate "horror" for me but it was amusing. My wife's brother-in-law came for a visit. He is an OK guy but he's an "expert" and always wants to tell you how you should do everything. He claims to smoke premium cigars occasionally. I offered him a CAO Black and he proceeded to lick it from end to end like a lollipop. I'm only surprised that he didn't lick it after he lit it.

Brother in law did the same damn thing with a stick first time we smoked----I was freaking mortified..............Then he unzipped my pants and....LOL---sorry, thought I was in a gay penthouse story for a minute.............But he did do the licking thing, and I almost barfed.

Vulchor

Also, i understand totally about the Runiation......however, ya gotta take the stance of once you gift something it is gone and you no longer have any say over it. If you dont take a stance like that you end up thinking of ways to hit you little sister over the head with a mallet when you give her your car you loved for some many years and she turns it into a chicky piece of $hit.

Krieg

I do not understand the licking thing, What the hell. I would probably puke all over someone's shoes if they did that in front of me.

cooch36

I've seen my plumber and assistant do the licking thing. People talk smack about what cigar guys they are then prove that they are wanna bees. after they were done my gifted cigars needed a smoke. I have them a rash of sh!t for the abuse!

wwhwang

Gentleman:

So my sister came in town with her boyfriend and we decided to sit by the campfire that night. He's a cigar smoker and has been smoking longer than me so I offer him a sacred MOW Ruination, while I went with a Cohiba. He was only about half an inch into the smoke and puts on the craziest face in disgust. I was like "Haha too strong for y-" and pause as I watch him throw an entire Ruination into the fire pit". No longer does he get offered my favorites.

This is where you give him nothing but White Owls or Swishers from now on. I'm usually the type that believes that when you give something as a gift, it's not longer yours, but really? Throw a $10+ that I paid for into a fire pit? Even when I was a newbie and didn't pick up any flavors, I never threw away any of my sticks or anyone else's. It's like being invited over for dinner, then tossing everything on your plate.

Gentleman

Poker Slob

I walked into the only cigar store in Greeley Colorado, to find a middle aged man minding the store. Neither he or the owner smoke cigars and the walk-in humi is only 25% full. 1/2 of his stock was boxes and boxes of Capones and Swisher Sweets. What a waste of humi space!!

ThinBluLine06

I have an old friend from college, one of those who always "one ups" everything you have done or expierenced...He seems to think he knows everything abount anything.... Anyway, I told him that since college, I have taken up cigar smoking. He immediately started talking like he was some cigar expert. So I offered him a smoke...He proceeded to tell me how he and his banker friends dip thier cigars in cognac...He cut the head of the torp, but then dipped the foot in cognac...When he tried to light the foot, it was soaked in cognac and didnt light...So he turned the cigar around, stuck the foot in his mouth, and lit the pointed head that he just cut and slobbered on!

sightunseen

ThinBluLine06:

I have an old friend from college, one of those who always "one ups" everything you have done or expierenced...He seems to think he knows everything abount anything.... Anyway, I told him that since college, I have taken up cigar smoking. He immediately started talking like he was some cigar expert. So I offered him a smoke...He proceeded to tell me how he and his banker friends dip thier cigars in cognac...He cut the head of the torp, but then dipped the foot in cognac...When he tried to light the foot, it was soaked in cognac and didnt light...So he turned the cigar around, stuck the foot in his mouth, and lit the pointed head that he just cut and slobbered on!

I wouldn't be friends with someone that always has to try and one-up everything you do.

Krieg

ThinBluLine06:

I have an old friend from college, one of those who always "one ups" everything you have done or expierenced...He seems to think he knows everything abount anything.... Anyway, I told him that since college, I have taken up cigar smoking. He immediately started talking like he was some cigar expert. So I offered him a smoke...He proceeded to tell me how he and his banker friends dip thier cigars in cognac...He cut the head of the torp, but then dipped the foot in cognac...When he tried to light the foot, it was soaked in cognac and didnt light...So he turned the cigar around, stuck the foot in his mouth, and lit the pointed head that he just cut and slobbered on!

LOL, priceless...I hope you didn't correct him...I would just let him go through life looking like an idiot.

lilwing88

I was at my father-in-laws a few months ago and he showed me his cigar collection. My jaw almost hit the floor..... Tons of ISOMs, Opus Xs, Anejos, Padron 26s and 64s, Diamond Crowns, Ashtons and Davidoffs. But that's not why my jaw hit the floor........ It was his humidor. He was using an analog hygro and a green foam puck thingy and his cigars were obviously dried out. I played it off as cool as possible. But anyways, I talked him into letting me take his humidor and cigars and "tweek" it for him. Luckily, I was able to salvage most of the cigars. It took a few months of blood, sweat and tears....

Thewelder

My dad used to smoke cigars and have a humidor when i was younger. The other day I asked him about the humidor and why he stopped smoking. He said that it was because the box molded on him, so he threw everything out and tried again only to have everything mold again. After that my parents divorce kicked in and he couldn't afford it anymore. He also mention that it was hard for him to keep the humidity up. I asked him where the box was at and found the analog hygro he was using, performed the trusty salt test. The damn thing was running about 20% under. No wonder he couldn't keep humidity up but it molded all to hell. Now I be the good son and just bring him some over to enjoy together. Least I could do for the old man

jship079

When I went into my humi and trolls stole my dame 17 dollar cohiba that *** still has not showed up!

Redtailhawkoz

bigbgballz

F***ing duck bit my cigar once while i was fishing!

Duder2

I can relate with the cigar fellatio thing. I gave an acquaintance a RP Sig once and he proceeded to lick the thing up and down like a seasoned porn star. It was horrifying! Needless to say I won't be offering him any of my sticks to lick in the future.

Krieg

lilwing88:

I was at my father-in-laws a few months ago and he showed me his cigar collection. My jaw almost hit the floor..... Tons of ISOMs, Opus Xs, Anejos, Padron 26s and 64s, Diamond Crowns, Ashtons and Davidoffs. But that's not why my jaw hit the floor........ It was his humidor. He was using an analog hygro and a green foam puck thingy and his cigars were obviously dried out. I played it off as cool as possible. But anyways, I talked him into letting me take his humidor and cigars and "tweek" it for him. Luckily, I was able to salvage most of the cigars. It took a few months of blood, sweat and tears....

glad to hear it, he had a fortune in that humidor...wonder if he could tell a difference once his cigars weren't dried out anymore...

kuzi16

bigbgballz:

F***ing duck bit my cigar once while i was fishing!

HA HA HA HA !!

Geno5000

Recently rescued my neglected humi, and moved over to my brother's (roomate) to see what he had in his and what shape his cigars were in. Opened his humi to drawers of LFD Double Ligeros, H. Uppman Vintage Cameroons and RP edges... And no humidifier. None. Luckily, they aren't cracked, they just need some love and some time.

Krieg

kuzi16:

bigbgballz:

F***ing duck bit my cigar once while i was fishing!

HA HA HA HA !!

how did I miss this post?? OMFG, LOL

vegassparky

bigbgballz:

F***ing duck bit my cigar once while i was fishing!

i once sat down to enjoy a 2006 robusto god of fire. i had just cut it when i heard the door bell. opened the door and it was jehovah's witnesses, so i slammed the door on them. i went back to my backyard. to my horror ,my dog was chewing on it. my wife said it was Karma for slamming the door on the witnesses

firetruckguy

TatuajeVI

Adcurium

Duder2:

I can relate with the cigar fellatio thing. I gave an acquaintance a RP Sig once and he proceeded to lick the thing up and down like a seasoned porn star. It was horrifying! Needless to say I won't be offering him any of my sticks to lick in the future.

I've seen this type of thing in old cartoons. WTF, right? I think this is something people did 100 years ago to prevent cheap cigars from unwrapping, or somehting like that.

Joeyjoe21_8

thats hella funny bro....!!! i laughed pretty hard my friend...the dog would get the gun to the head at that point lol

Diamondog

one of my outside sales reps smokes Colts and when he found out I smoke cigars he of course wanted one, gave him a decent stick the first time nothing spectacular but alittle better than a yard gar....well, I see him a couple days a week when I travel and he tells me he just finished the stick I gave him, he told me he would smoke a little and let it go out and then relight every couple days until it was gone and he liked to "savour" it lol, well seeing that he really believed he was "savouring" it by smoking a little here and there I didn't want to burst his bubble and hey if it makes him happy and he produces forme then what the hell, I certainly won't give him anything but a yard gar now though every once in a while lol