The custom band idea is a good one, you just need to find a substitute for the word Manhood. Use "Freedom" or "Independence" instead and the same message comes across that all his choices in the world are going up in smoke...
Midget strippers, they should be able to do things with a cigar. Also because it is a midget it doesn't really count as a stripper so your whipped friend should be fine with it. Though I'm big fan of the in emergency box. One of those things you keep around to reminded you of other times.
blindfold him and chain him to the pole! and speaking of strippers, go to a club and not the private one. They trap you with the private stripper and the club you go to is VITALLY important. To think of it in cigar terms, there are a lot of garcia vegas and phillies blunts out there that can ruin your day. A good strip club is the difference between loving your experience and hating it. DO YOUR RESEARCH!!
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