Just imagine, burros and humidors, ......Jesus could have been born in a humi instead of a manger , grew up smoking cigars and been a BOTL ........just let Obama try and put a tax on something the Big Guy liked.......DON'T MAKE ME COME DOWN THERE!!!
Just imagine, burros and humidors, ......Jesus could have been born in a humi instead of a manger , grew up smoking cigars and been a BOTL ........just let Obama try and put a tax on something the Big Guy liked.......DON'T MAKE ME COME DOWN THERE!!!
He would've been Jesus(Hey-zeus) the torcedor instead of Jesus(Gee-zus) the Carpenter.
You're probably right, but it's a real damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. He gets into trouble every time I let him out. Last time, I don't know what he'd been up to, but he came home with a broken foot and an Oxycontin habit.
You're probably right, but it's a real damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. He gets into trouble every time I let him out. Last time, I don't know what he'd been up to, but he came home with a broken foot and an Oxycontin habit.
A man walks into a bar and sits down and orders a drink.
He then notices a Jar that is full of money. The man asks the bartender what the jar is for. The bartender then says that he has a donkey in the back room and if anyone can make him him laugh they win the money. If not they owe me 100 dollars.
The man say I can do it!
So he goes into the back room and about 5 minutes later the bartender hears the donkey laughing out loud. The man walks out and takes the money from the jar, thanks the bartender, and leaves.
About a month later the man comes back into the bar and there is a new jar of money. The man asks the bartender what the new jar of money is for.
The bartender looks at the man and says if you can make the donkey cry the money is yours, if not you owe me 100 dollars. The man says ok I'll do it!
He walks into the back room and about 2 minutes has goes by when the bartender hears the donkey crying. The man walks out and grabs the money out of the jar, but before the man leaves the bartender asks, "How did you make the donkey laugh?"
The man looks at the bartender and says, "Well the first time I told the donkey that I had a bigger pecker then he did".
A newly promoted Captain was posted to a run-down British outpost in Iraq. On his tour of inspection he noticed a very old donkey standing dejectedly next to a rusty jeep without an engine and asked the Sergeant-major what the donkey was for.
"Well sir..", began the soldier hesitantly, "We're a very long way from civilization, and men have, er - um, needs, Sir..."
"What exactly do you mean, Sergeant. Spit it out man."
"Well Sir... when the lads get really desperate for a woman, they use the donkey."
"I see", replied the Captain with a cough. "If it keeps the men's peckers up, I suppose it's OK with me".
When he had been at the outpost for about a month he noticed the donkey was missing and stopped a soldier as he walked past his tent. "Tell me, Corporal Jones, where is the donkey tonight?"
"It's Private Smith's turn with the donkey this month Sah!"
The Captain thanked him and went back into his tent wishing he had a woman.
The next month he heard the donkey neighing loundly and stopped the corporal as he was passing his tent. "Tell me corporal, what's the donkey like?"
"Good as gold, Sah. We'd be lost without 'im."
"Yes - but what do the men actually DO with it?"
"Do Sah? The usual, Sah, you know..."
"Yes, but what exactly?"
"Well...we just climb on and it leads us to paradise, Sah."
The Captain was almost beside himself with excitement but managed to control himself and dismissed the corporal.
After three months he was so desperate for a woman he ordered the Sergeant-Major to fetch the donkey. The Sergeant-major shrugged his shoulders and led the sorry looking animal into the Captain's quarters. The Captain dropped his pants, stepped onto a stool and shagged the donkey so hard it collapsed. When he'd finished, he beckoned the Sergeant-major over and asked: "Is that how the men do it?"
"No sir, they usually ride the donkey into Paradise and shag the local women in the brothel."
Comments
Just imagine, burros and humidors, ......Jesus could have been born in a humi instead of a manger , grew up smoking cigars and been a BOTL ........just let Obama try and put a tax on something the Big Guy liked.......DON'T MAKE ME COME DOWN THERE!!!
You sick f uck's still milking this thread ?? LMAO
Got Milk
I think he's getting a little stir crazy in there what with no one to talk to but a burro . . .
Do you have an left?
He then notices a Jar that is full of money. The man asks the bartender what the jar is for. The bartender then says that he has a donkey in the back room and if anyone can make him him laugh they win the money. If not they owe me 100 dollars.
The man say I can do it!
So he goes into the back room and about 5 minutes later the bartender hears the donkey laughing out loud. The man walks out and takes the money from the jar, thanks the bartender, and leaves.
About a month later the man comes back into the bar and there is a new jar of money. The man asks the bartender what the new jar of money is for.
The bartender looks at the man and says if you can make the donkey cry the money is yours, if not you owe me 100 dollars. The man says ok I'll do it!
He walks into the back room and about 2 minutes has goes by when the bartender hears the donkey crying. The man walks out and grabs the money out of the jar, but before the man leaves the bartender asks, "How did you make the donkey laugh?"
The man looks at the bartender and says, "Well the first time I told the donkey that I had a bigger pecker then he did".
"How did you make him cry?" ask the bartender?
Well I showed him.
If you breed mini-donkeys for meat, can you get a little piece of ass?
What do you call your mini-donkey stable when it's really dirty? An ass-hole.
You know what they call the new brand of currying rags for mini-donkeys? Asswipes.
The new competitor uniform for the mini-donkey show event is the beret. It's an asshat.
If all your mini-donkeys run away, you have Noassatol.
If you're carrying your mini-donkeys and you chuckle so hard you drop him, you're laughing your ass off.
Know how to save yourself from a donkey attack? Stop, drop, and roll while giggling. That's right. Roll on the floor, laughing your ass off.
And how do they make miniature donkeys? Preparation H!
When he had been at the outpost for about a month he noticed the donkey was missing and stopped a soldier as he walked past his tent. "Tell me, Corporal Jones, where is the donkey tonight?" "It's Private Smith's turn with the donkey this month Sah!" The Captain thanked him and went back into his tent wishing he had a woman.
The next month he heard the donkey neighing loundly and stopped the corporal as he was passing his tent. "Tell me corporal, what's the donkey like?" "Good as gold, Sah. We'd be lost without 'im." "Yes - but what do the men actually DO with it?" "Do Sah? The usual, Sah, you know..." "Yes, but what exactly?" "Well...we just climb on and it leads us to paradise, Sah." The Captain was almost beside himself with excitement but managed to control himself and dismissed the corporal.
After three months he was so desperate for a woman he ordered the Sergeant-Major to fetch the donkey. The Sergeant-major shrugged his shoulders and led the sorry looking animal into the Captain's quarters. The Captain dropped his pants, stepped onto a stool and shagged the donkey so hard it collapsed. When he'd finished, he beckoned the Sergeant-major over and asked: "Is that how the men do it?"
"No sir, they usually ride the donkey into Paradise and shag the local women in the brothel."