Mother's Day we get a call from the stepson. Mom's Day works backwards
around our house. He needs bail money. So that Monday I mail off
an express mail box with a stack of cash in it. To keep the cash
company, Bearswatter bakes her son some brownies and I throw in a dozen
or so cigars. Why do I send cigars to my lunkhead stepson? Because
he never sends nothing back. You see, it is more blessed to give than
it is to receive. Think about it.
That same weekend, the guy over the fence behind me, I hired him to haul away
the porch roof..He can use a couple Franklins cause work installing
counter tops is hard to find these days, he drinks, his wife left, and
he has a son to feed. Drives a pickup, I don't, so it's a done deal.
I spot him smoking cigarettes, so I hand him a couple mild stogies and
encourage him to try cigars instead, cause by the time he pays four or
five bucks a pack tax, Jesus. Monday when I pay him, he says he
enjoyed the sticks, so I stuck his cash and ten more sticks in a canister
with a water pillow and tell him when he burns through those come back.
Why do I hand cigars to my out of work neighbor? Because he is short of
money so he will not give back You see, it is more blessed to give than
it is to receive.
Tuesday, a biker friend came over looking for help to repair his pannier. This
guy I already know he likes cigars, cause I have laid some on him before.
He is a salesman for a struggling restaurant supplier. Restaurants are
bouncing checks and he gets hit with chargebacks. Still paying off his
mother from when he was out of work two years. Makes pizzas on weekends to
try and catch up. So I lay a fistful of sticks on him. Why do I lay cigars
on my brother biker? Because he is in no position to give back. You see,
it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.
Setting out Saturday to see a guy at a cigar factory, Sunday to see a
tobacco grower, Monday to a Mem Day BBQ. I'll tote smokes each day.
Why do I lay cigars on these strangers? Because they will be surprised,
with no ammo to give back. You see, it is more blessed to give than it
is to receive.
I adopted this strategy a year ago because I cannot keep up with guys on
this forum. I am just a poor working man, I live in a working man's
neighborhood, and I associate with ordinary blue collar fellows. I can't
afford Illusiones. What do I do? I take a trowel and harvest the back yard,
I root round in the White Owl box a client gave me, I grab a bundle
from the bargain bin, I shoot off these miserable dog rockets, cardboard
freebies, and shopworn yard gars to a BOTL and what do they do? They send
me back twice as many
exhorbitant ambrosial uppowoc cylinders in return. I can not keep up with
that, I tell you. Whereas the strangers I meet riding, they take my gift
with a baffled expression and leave me blessed. I buy my blessings at the
dollar store.
I was doing fine, feeling all blessed up and stuff, until I let myself get
suckered in. Last week, a BOTL here said he
wanted to bomb the shed out of a couple forum members down on their luck.
I musta misunderstood. I pitched in hoping that down on their luck would
mean no firing back. Mistake. I sent the big shizz my daily harvest
from the back yard, whereby the postage cost more than the contents, and
here's what he sends me back yesterday:
If it is more blessed to give than it is to receive, then this guy has stolen
my blessings for a year. Shizzmeister, what the hell? What's wrong with you?
I am counting my blessings. They are diminishing fast. I can't go on this way
At my age, I might need an ample stash of blessings any day now. So I have made up
my mind. I'm not sending anything to anybody on this forum ever again. I'm
strictly sticking to neighbors and guys I meet on the road. I like buying
cigars. Guys keep giving me cigars. Ergo I gotta get rid of them somehow.
Bombing BOTLs only makes it worse. I need to pick my targets more carefully.
Stick to the impecunious and the unsuspecting.
p.s. Yeah, I don't know how that picture got upside down either.
Anybody have bigbill72's address?
