Slip of the tongue

So........







....didja get the digits?

Tyland64:

In between finishing up my class load and taking exams I have been run some errands. My in law's have been making a holiday treat for over 50 years. It is a hand made chocolate peanut butter ball and they are addicting. So my wife asked me to take some to our new friend at the Chamber of Commerce, she is a real sweet heart. To be careful I always ask is people are allergic to peanuts, well here is the slip, I asked her if she was allergic to penis, yes looking this little cutie in the eye, I said penis not peanut. To save me she said " I'm not allergic to either" smiled,gave me a hug and said thank you. I just walked out and laughed my a$$ off.

The proper response would be - "Care to prove it?"

Tyland64:

In between finishing up my class load and taking exams I have been run some errands. My in law's have been making a holiday treat for over 50 years. It is a hand made chocolate peanut butter ball and they are addicting. So my wife asked me to take some to our new friend at the Chamber of Commerce, she is a real sweet heart. To be careful I always ask is people are allergic to peanuts, well here is the slip, I asked her if she was allergic to penis, yes looking this little cutie in the eye, I said penis not peanut. To save me she said " I'm not allergic to either" smiled,gave me a hug and said thank you. I just walked out and laughed my a$$ off.

Reminds me of this joke.

2 guys sitting at starbucks. Waitress is a well-endowed blond. She asks what they would like. First guys says "I'd like a mocha please." 2nd guys says "I'd just like a cup of t!ts please." She says, "Excuse me?" "I'm so sorry," he replies, "I meant tea! A cup of tea please!" She leaves to get their drinks.

1st guy looks to the 2nd and says "Wow... Freudian slip ay?" 2nd says "What's that?" "That's where you mean to say one thing, but something else is on your mind, and you say that instead," replied 1st guy.

2nd guys says "Yes! That's exactly what happened. In fact, I had one of those this morning. I walked down the stairs into the kitchen and saw my lovely wife in there, cooking my breakfast, smiling at me. I meant to say 'I love you, baby, you're the best!' but instead I said 'I hate you B#tch, you ruined my life!'"

WaltBasil:

Tyland64:

In between finishing up my class load and taking exams I have been run some errands. My in law's have been making a holiday treat for over 50 years. It is a hand made chocolate peanut butter ball and they are addicting. So my wife asked me to take some to our new friend at the Chamber of Commerce, she is a real sweet heart. To be careful I always ask is people are allergic to peanuts, well here is the slip, I asked her if she was allergic to penis, yes looking this little cutie in the eye, I said penis not peanut. To save me she said " I'm not allergic to either" smiled,gave me a hug and said thank you. I just walked out and laughed my a$$ off.

Reminds me of this joke.

2 guys sitting at starbucks. Waitress is a well-endowed blond. She asks what they would like. First guys says "I'd like a mocha please." 2nd guys says "I'd just like a cup of t!ts please." She says, "Excuse me?" "I'm so sorry," he replies, "I meant tea! A cup of tea please!" She leaves to get their drinks.

1st guy looks to the 2nd and says "Wow... Freudian slip ay?" 2nd says "What's that?" "That's where you mean to say one thing, but something else is on your mind, and you say that instead," replied 1st guy.

2nd guys says "Yes! That's exactly what happened. In fact, I had one of those this morning. I walked down the stairs into the kitchen and saw my lovely wife in there, cooking my breakfast, smiling at me. I meant to say 'I love you, baby, you're the best!' but instead I said 'I hate you B#tch, you ruined my life!'"

HAHAHA! Too funny!!

Tyland64:

Ken Light:

So........







....didja get the digits?

No digits, not bragging but my wife is 13 years younger than me just saying

Well that's certainly something to brag about!! Wait... Unless... you're like... 25?

Tyland64:

Sasquatch:

He does drive a van with free candy painted on the side.

Lol sick man. I sold the van lol.....

Yea NY refused to allow him into the state unless he left the van in Michigan and agreed to not purchase any vans in NY.

0patience:

Wife and were at a restaurant sometime back and I wanted a burger and fries. The waitress asked for our order and I promptly ordered a burger and a side of thighs. Waitress laughed, momma didn't. Sometimes the wife has no sense of humor.

I did something similar at a bar i worked at in college with a new bartender. Ordered a burger and when she asked me what kind of cheese I said "sweater, er, uh, cheddar." My girlfriend laughed her butt off.