$hit my son says

Other day I was pulling into my garage and the following conversation took place while the garage door was going up (keep in mind, he's 3):

Ayden: "Come on daddy...GOOOOOOOO"
Me: "I have to wait for the door to open Ayden"
Ayden: sigh...."GODDDD DAMMMMITTTT"

Fighting back the laugh needless to say, I had to explain to him that was not a nice thing to say and to promise not to say it anymore! He must have got that from his mother...LOL

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bige1371

My son who is 2 has a limited vocabulary right now. He runs around saying "Oh Yeah?" and "REALLY?". Future smartass wonder where he gets that from.

beatnic

My son is now 28. He denies ever saying funny Sh$t. I Love to drop them on his wife.

lilwing88

Son: "Daddy, can you help me put my socks on?" (he says socks with an almost British accent. Kinda cute)

Me: (in my best British accent) "Why yes, my good sir. I would love to!"

Son: "Daddy! Why are you taking like that?"

Me: "You started it."

Son: (with clenched fist produced) "You want me start summa this?"

letsgowithbob

lilwing88:
Son: "Daddy, can you help me put my socks on?" (he says socks with an almost British accent. Kinda cute)

Me: (in my best British accent) "Why yes, my good sir. I would love to!"

Son: "Daddy! Why are you taking like that?"

Me: "You started it."

Son: (with clenched fist produced) "You want me start summa this?"

Does he get that from the wife.....? lol

bigharpoon

We called my mother on the phone yesterday. My 2 year old daughter says (in complete monotone): "Hi Gram, London Bridge is falling down. (short pause) Goodbye, my friend." Then hands the phone over to me. She cracks me up pretty much all the time.

Heavy

This is one thing that surprised me about parenthood. Everyone told me about all the joys and the headaches of being a parent. But no one ever told me how flat out hilarious it can be. My kids have cracked me up and continue to crack me up when I least expect it.

Russ55

My Son has said a lot of stuff, but one of the funniest, at least that I can share in a public forum without feeling like the world's worst parent would be this one:

My Son was 2 when this happened.

It's late at night, kid sees a bug flying in the house. "Dad! A bug." I come over with a paper towel, squish said bug and throw it away. Life goes on, we go to sleep. The next day I am outside enjoying a cigar. The boy is outside as well, and comes up to me to say hello. We talk for a bit, and after a while another bug, the same kind as the one he saw last night flies by us, and lands on the table near me. The boy sees this bug and says "Dad, look it same bug as last night." I say "yep". The boy then says "He looking for his mommy, but he not find her, 'cause you squish her last night." I was a bit stunned. I laugh about it now, but I don't think I laughed then.

bigjohn125

When my step son was three, he walked up the dog, kicked it, and said "F**king cows!" (his dad is a dairy farmer). Needless to say, my wife made a phone call while I laughed my ass off.

Hays

bigharpoon:
We called my mother on the phone yesterday. My 2 year old daughter says (in complete monotone): "Hi Gram, London Bridge is falling down. (short pause) Goodbye, my friend." Then hands the phone over to me. She cracks me up pretty much all the time.

LMAO love it

ENFIDL

DSWarmack:
ENFIDL:
"Yeah Elijah you ARE an a$$hole!"

Honesty is good in children!

RCCCigar: It is moments like that, the ones on the phone with your kids that they will never remember, but you will hold closest to your heart for decades to come.

touche my friend, touche!

RCC that's pretty awesome man!

ENFIDL

lilwing88:
Son: "Daddy, can you help me put my socks on?" (he says socks with an almost British accent. Kinda cute)

Me: (in my best British accent) "Why yes, my good sir. I would love to!"

Son: "Daddy! Why are you taking like that?"

Me: "You started it."

Son: (with clenched fist produced) "You want me start summa this?"

This combined with the other one, hilarious!

Hays

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

LMAO!

YankeeMan

When one of my older sons was three years old, we were stopped at a light and he was in the back seat. The light changed and the driver in front of me didn't start. From the back seat we hear, "MOVE a$$hole!"

My wife just looked at me over her glasses.

Krieg

YankeeMan:
When one of my older sons was three years old, we were stopped at a light and he was in the back seat. The light changed and the driver in front of me didn't start. From the back seat we hear, "MOVE a$$hole!"

My wife just looked at me over her glasses.

LOL

kevster77

just found this thread and laughed my ass off the whole time. having a 6 and 4 year old the fun never stops. kids do say the darndest things.

lilwing88

My son is 3 and has already figured out how to fake sick to get out of cleaning his room. When you tell him to clean, he drops to the floor holding his stomach saying, "I have diarrhea!"

Krieg

lilwing88:
My son is 3 and has already figured out how to fake sick to get out of cleaning his room. When you tell him to clean, he drops to the floor holding his stomach saying, "I have diarrhea!"

omg...i think your son and mine are one in the same.

Hays

Krieg:
lilwing88:
My son is 3 and has already figured out how to fake sick to get out of cleaning his room. When you tell him to clean, he drops to the floor holding his stomach saying, "I have diarrhea!"
omg...i think your son and mine are one in the same.

Well...that's just awkward. Is this another Arnie moment?

docbp87

ENFIDL:
This combined with the other one, hilarious!

Always preferred this one:

RCCCigar

My mom e-mailed me and said that she talked to my son a couple nights ago. My wife and son are going to go on trip back home and my wife told my mom that they were going to mail some stuff ahead of time so they didn't have to carry so much. And my son said "Yeah, and we are going to need a big, big, BIIIIG envelope!"

Krieg

So my son was looking at me last night with a very stern look in his eyes after I told him to go clean his room...so I asked him:
"Ayden...what are you doing??"

"I'm cutting eyes at you, daddy"

lilwing88

My 5 yr old daughter said to me while we were holding hands, walking through the mall:

"Daddy, we're like an old married couple."

ctschirgi

I was making stir fry last night and discussing with my wife that it might taste really good with mushrooms even though the recipe didn't call for them. My four year old son who doesn't like mushrooms piped up and said, "Dad, why don't you just stick with the recipe?"

Krieg

LOL...young kids are helluva alot smarter than we think, lol

Rhamlin

Ok so one day my daughter walks in the room when she was about 3. Just in time to hear my wife talking about her mom and saying she's just being a B$&@H. Without missing a beat my daughter says , Who's a B$&@H ?

wwestern

So yesterday me and my 7 year old are driving home and as we're turning into or little neighborhood this lady apparently didn't like something and threw uP her hands and flipped me off. My windows half down and without thinking I yell "eat a bullet bi tch" ( yeah my road rage is strong) about a block later I notice my daughter is staring at me. I say " what" (pretending like I did nothing wrong) she says "did you really just say that? Realllly?". Then the little $hit gave me the facepalm rofl.

Marker

When my second daughter was 2 we were trying to potty train her. I put her on the potty then said to sit there while I helped her older sister with something in the other room. About 15 seconds later she comes out of the bathroom and says excitedly 'Daddy! I went poopy!' I turn the corner and look at her excited as well to give her praise. So I say 'wow! let's go look!' She points down at the floor and says 'Right there!' Missed the potty by about 13 feet.

The Sniper

Marker:
When my second daughter was 2 we were trying to potty train her. I put her on the potty then said to sit there while I helped her older sister with something in the other room. About 15 seconds later she comes out of the bathroom and says excitedly 'Daddy! I went poopy!' I turn the corner and look at her excited as well to give her praise. So I say 'wow! let's go look!' She points down at the floor and says 'Right there!' Missed the potty by about 13 feet.

LMAO! Swing and a miss, strike one! :-D