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Balls Joke

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  • dutyjedutyje Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,263
    urbino:
    And why would I be saying such a thing, even if true?
    I don't know, but it explains the tiny burro you just purchased for the bottom shelf of the humi.
  • cheymancheyman Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 157
    I love uni-ball jokes,...but I was never imagining this kind of reaction!!!
  • urbinourbino Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 4,517
    dutyje:
    urbino:
    And why would I be saying such a thing, even if true?
    I don't know, but it explains the tiny burro you just purchased for the bottom shelf of the humi.
    Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's burro.
  • madurofanmadurofan Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 6,152
    urbino:
    dutyje:
    urbino:
    And why would I be saying such a thing, even if true?
    I don't know, but it explains the tiny burro you just purchased for the bottom shelf of the humi.
    Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's burro.
    Ah good ol Commandment 9b.
  • madurofanmadurofan Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 6,152
    cheyman:
    I love uni-ball jokes,...but I was never imagining this kind of reaction!!!
    From now on you should.
  • dutyjedutyje Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,263
    urbino:
    dutyje:
    urbino:
    And why would I be saying such a thing, even if true?
    I don't know, but it explains the tiny burro you just purchased for the bottom shelf of the humi.
    Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's burro.
    Sound advice for yourself. I'm the one in the humi with nothing but a tiny burro to keep me company.
  • urbinourbino Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 4,517
  • dutyjedutyje Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,263
    Hey, I've got a great selection of cigars.. I've got a burro to push all day long. Why would I need any money?
  • urbinourbino Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 4,517
    See, that's the kind of thinking that won you the job. That and being a tiny little person.
  • dutyjedutyje Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,263
    I may be tiny, but I'm hung like a barnacle.
  • urbinourbino Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 4,517
    I have no idea what that means, but I admire you for saying it.
  • dutyjedutyje Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,263
    urbino:
    I have no idea what that means, but I admire you for saying it.
    The barnacle has the highest penis-to-body-size ratio of any animal.
  • urbinourbino Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 4,517
    The human has the highest penis-to-body-size ratio of any primate, which strikes me as a winning compromise with the barnacle. Not quite so hung, but with the forelimbs to work it, and the brains to know it's a good idea.
  • gmill880gmill880 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 5,947

    urbino:
    The human has the highest penis-to-body-size ratio of any primate, which strikes me as a winning compromise with the barnacle. Not quite so hung, but with the forelimbs to work it, and the brains to know it's a good idea.

    ha!

  • kaspera79kaspera79 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 7,144
    dutyje:
    I may be tiny, but I'm hung like a barnacle....
    I don't know if that is worth bragging about or not.....
  • dutyjedutyje Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,263
  • madurofanmadurofan Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 6,152
    dutyje:
    And Kas.. I don't need you Fox Newsing my quotes
    Spoken like a true liberal. We needed a reminder that Fox is the only news station the twists the facts to match their point of view. ;)
  • urbinourbino Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 4,517
  • kaspera79kaspera79 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 7,144
    dutyje:
    urbino:
    .
    And Kas.. I don't need you Fox Newsing my quotes
    Sorry Joe, just messin' with you.
  • dutyjedutyje Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,263
    kaspera79:
    dutyje:
    urbino:
    .
    And Kas.. I don't need you Fox Newsing my quotes
    Sorry Joe, just hittin' on you.
    No need to apologize... and sorry, I'm not interested ;)
  • kaspera79kaspera79 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 7,144
    dutyje:
    kaspera79:
    dutyje:
    urbino:
    .
    And Kas.. I don't need you Fox Newsing my quotes
    Sorry Joe, just hittin' on you.
    No need to apologize... and sorry, I'm not interested ;)
    Okay, now we're even ( good one)
  • gmill880gmill880 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 5,947

    A Russian and an American hillbilly named Vern were set to square off for the Olympic wrestling gold medal. Before the match vern's trainer says "now don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian, he's never lost a match because of his famous pretzel hold he has". What ever you do , do not allow him to get you in this hold,if he does its lights out, no one has ever escaped from it!

    The hillbilly nods his acknowledgement.

    As the match starts, Vern and the Russian circle each other warily looking for an opening. All of a sudden , the Russian lunges forward and preceeds to wrap Vern up in the dreaded pretzel hold.

    A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and Verns trainer covers his face with a towel, knowing all was lost he could not bear to watch.

    Suddenly , there was a long high pitched scream and the trainer looked up just in time to see the Russian flying into the air. His back hits the mat with a crunching thud and the hillbilly collapses on top of him for the pin and Olympic gold medal.

    The trainer was astounded. When he got Vern alone,he said "how did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever escaped it".

    Vern answered "well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold because I knew no one had ever escaped it. Then at the last moment I opened my eyes and saw this pair of testicles about 6 inches from my face. I had nothing to lose so I stretched out my neck with my last ounce of strength and bit those babies just as hard as I could.

    The trainer exclaimed "thats what finished him off?"

    Vern answered "not really....you'd be amazed at the adrenalin rush from biting your own balls!!!"

  • laker1963laker1963 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 5,046
    ROFLMAO...that's funny...in a painful sort of way.
  • madurofanmadurofan Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 6,152
    HAHAHAHA That one made me literally lol
  • cheymancheyman Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 157
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...I effen love it!
  • gmill880gmill880 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 5,947
  • dutyjedutyje Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,263
    gmill880:

    edit

    Well that was a let-down... opened the thread to see the new post, and all I got was this here edit
  • gmill880gmill880 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 5,947
    dutyje:
    gmill880:

    edit

    Well that was a let-down... opened the thread to see the new post, and all I got was this here edit

    All right I'll go ahead an tell it.

    A young lady about 30 feelin'kinda blue about her love life or actually lack of is cryin' the blues to her girlfriend. " I havn't had a date in over 5 years ,as a matter of fact i've had very few dates my whole life! I just know I'm gonna die an old maid!!! " The girlfriend feeling sorry for her recommends she go to see Dr. Chin the noted Chinese "love doctor". She agrees and goes to see Dr.Chin. Upon arriving she is taken straight to an exam room by Dr. Chins nurse.

    Enter Dr. Chin who in a very pronounced chinese accent asks 'What is problem?" The young lady explains how all her friends have boyfriends or are married and she can't even get a date.Dr. Chin takes some notes, and then says "take off all cloths!". W-What stamers the surprised young lady. "Take off all cloths, it ok, I highly trained medical professional,see many people naked,it no big deal." W-Well ok she replies and strips down nude. Dr Chin makes some more notes and then says "Get down on hands and knees and crawl across room to other wall". The young lady does as instructed. When she reaches the wall Dr. Chin , making notes, says "alright turn around and crawl back to my feet on hands and knees!" Again the young lady does as instructed. Dr. Chin says"please,stand, put clothes on, your problem very very easy to diagnose! you have worst case Ed Zachery disease I ever see in career! the young lady in tears now says doctor w-w-what is Ed Zachery disease? Dr Chin replies "that when your ass look edzachery like your face!!!

  • dutyjedutyje Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,263
  • madurofanmadurofan Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 6,152
    LMAO ... thats just wrong.
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