The human has the highest penis-to-body-size ratio of any primate, which strikes me as a winning compromise with the barnacle. Not quite so hung, but with the forelimbs to work it, and the brains to know it's a good idea.
The human has the highest penis-to-body-size ratio of any primate, which strikes me as a winning compromise with the barnacle. Not quite so hung, but with the forelimbs to work it, and the brains to know it's a good idea.
A Russian and an American hillbilly named Vern were set to square off for the Olympic wrestling gold medal. Before the match vern's trainer says "now don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian, he's never lost a match because of his famous pretzel hold he has". What ever you do , do not allow him to get you in this hold,if he does its lights out, no one has ever escaped from it!
The hillbilly nods his acknowledgement.
As the match starts, Vern and the Russian circle each other warily looking for an opening. All of a sudden , the Russian lunges forward and preceeds to wrap Vern up in the dreaded pretzel hold.
A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and Verns trainer covers his face with a towel, knowing all was lost he could not bear to watch.
Suddenly , there was a long high pitched scream and the trainer looked up just in time to see the Russian flying into the air. His back hits the mat with a crunching thud and the hillbilly collapses on top of him for the pin and Olympic gold medal.
The trainer was astounded. When he got Vern alone,he said "how did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever escaped it".
Vern answered "well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold because I knew no one had ever escaped it. Then at the last moment I opened my eyes and saw this pair of testicles about 6 inches from my face. I had nothing to lose so I stretched out my neck with my last ounce of strength and bit those babies just as hard as I could.
The trainer exclaimed "thats what finished him off?"
Vern answered "not really....you'd be amazed at the adrenalin rush from biting your own balls!!!"
Well that was a let-down... opened the thread to see the new post, and all I got was this here edit
All right I'll go ahead an tell it.
A young lady about 30 feelin'kinda blue about her love life or actually lack of is cryin' the blues to her girlfriend. " I havn't had a date in over 5 years ,as a matter of fact i've had very few dates my whole life! I just know I'm gonna die an old maid!!! " The girlfriend feeling sorry for her recommends she go to see Dr. Chin the noted Chinese "love doctor". She agrees and goes to see Dr.Chin. Upon arriving she is taken straight to an exam room by Dr. Chins nurse.
Enter Dr. Chin who in a very pronounced chinese accent asks 'What is problem?" The young lady explains how all her friends have boyfriends or are married and she can't even get a date.Dr. Chin takes some notes, and then says "take off all cloths!". W-What stamers the surprised young lady. "Take off all cloths, it ok, I highly trained medical professional,see many people naked,it no big deal." W-Well ok she replies and strips down nude. Dr Chin makes some more notes and then says "Get down on hands and knees and crawl across room to other wall". The young lady does as instructed. When she reaches the wall Dr. Chin , making notes, says "alright turn around and crawl back to my feet on hands and knees!" Again the young lady does as instructed. Dr. Chin says"please,stand, put clothes on, your problem very very easy to diagnose! you have worst case Ed Zachery disease I ever see in career! the young lady in tears now says doctor w-w-what is Ed Zachery disease? Dr Chin replies "that when your ass look edzachery like your face!!!
Comments
ha!
A Russian and an American hillbilly named Vern were set to square off for the Olympic wrestling gold medal. Before the match vern's trainer says "now don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian, he's never lost a match because of his famous pretzel hold he has". What ever you do , do not allow him to get you in this hold,if he does its lights out, no one has ever escaped from it!
The hillbilly nods his acknowledgement.
As the match starts, Vern and the Russian circle each other warily looking for an opening. All of a sudden , the Russian lunges forward and preceeds to wrap Vern up in the dreaded pretzel hold.
A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and Verns trainer covers his face with a towel, knowing all was lost he could not bear to watch.
Suddenly , there was a long high pitched scream and the trainer looked up just in time to see the Russian flying into the air. His back hits the mat with a crunching thud and the hillbilly collapses on top of him for the pin and Olympic gold medal.
The trainer was astounded. When he got Vern alone,he said "how did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever escaped it".
Vern answered "well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold because I knew no one had ever escaped it. Then at the last moment I opened my eyes and saw this pair of testicles about 6 inches from my face. I had nothing to lose so I stretched out my neck with my last ounce of strength and bit those babies just as hard as I could.
The trainer exclaimed "thats what finished him off?"
Vern answered "not really....you'd be amazed at the adrenalin rush from biting your own balls!!!"
edit
All right I'll go ahead an tell it.
A young lady about 30 feelin'kinda blue about her love life or actually lack of is cryin' the blues to her girlfriend. " I havn't had a date in over 5 years ,as a matter of fact i've had very few dates my whole life! I just know I'm gonna die an old maid!!! " The girlfriend feeling sorry for her recommends she go to see Dr. Chin the noted Chinese "love doctor". She agrees and goes to see Dr.Chin. Upon arriving she is taken straight to an exam room by Dr. Chins nurse.
Enter Dr. Chin who in a very pronounced chinese accent asks 'What is problem?" The young lady explains how all her friends have boyfriends or are married and she can't even get a date.Dr. Chin takes some notes, and then says "take off all cloths!". W-What stamers the surprised young lady. "Take off all cloths, it ok, I highly trained medical professional,see many people naked,it no big deal." W-Well ok she replies and strips down nude. Dr Chin makes some more notes and then says "Get down on hands and knees and crawl across room to other wall". The young lady does as instructed. When she reaches the wall Dr. Chin , making notes, says "alright turn around and crawl back to my feet on hands and knees!" Again the young lady does as instructed. Dr. Chin says"please,stand, put clothes on, your problem very very easy to diagnose! you have worst case Ed Zachery disease I ever see in career! the young lady in tears now says doctor w-w-what is Ed Zachery disease? Dr Chin replies "that when your ass look edzachery like your face!!!