I just lost my father

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PsychoSJG
PsychoSJG Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 739
Especially with older BOTL here, I'm sure some of you have been where I am now. I dont really know what I'm doing, but I'm doing everything I can. My father passed away this morning. He wasnt ill, didnt have medical issues, and was only 56. We dont yet know why, but he didnt wake up this morning. Ive been handling everything so far. From calling the fam, to going and telling his still living mother, dealling with the coroner and medical examiner, even having to help carry his body from his room. I've barely even had any time to myself to deal with this. I now have to care for my mother who has a lot of medical issues and soon will be without insurance. I dont even know why I'm telling you all this. I guess I just need to get it out. I'm 26 years old, and I just went from being the youngest son to the leader of the family. I'm not ready for this.
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Comments

  • stephen_hannibal
    stephen_hannibal Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 4,317
    Oh man bro... You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

  • djbeenie
    djbeenie Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 469
    Man sorry to hear. Prayers to you and your family.
  • Amos Umwhat
    Amos Umwhat Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,523
    Very sorry to hear this. I lost my Dad when he was just 63, but we knew why, and that it was coming. It must be a terrible shock when it happens like this. There are no adequate words, all you can do is remember the best about him, and pass that on to your own kids.
  • slickric
    slickric Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 705
    Man i am very sorry. I lost my dad when i was 18 (7yrs ago). he was only 58. i wish i had some words of wisdom that would make everything easier but i am not sure they exist. All i can say is try and be strong for the ones you love and i am praying for you and your family. PLEASE, if there is ever ANYTHING i can do let me know. I will do anything in my power to help.
  • smoke em if you got em
    smoke em if you got em Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 4,119
    Sorry to hear this one brother. I myself lost my father when I was in my early 20's and he was in his later 40's and we didnt see it coming. I was given some advice at that time by a friend of mine who had lost both his parents as a child..he told me to cry and let it all out. I tried to hold everything in and be strong for the family for days and it came out in anger and after I cried more than i ever thought I could..i felt that much better.

    Be there for your family brother but make sure to take time for yourself as well. Remember the good things and share those good memories with others who knew him and even those who didnt.

    Your family is in my prayers brother.
  • Toombes
    Toombes Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 4,451
    Terribly sorry to hear about your loss, brother. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
  • DSWarmack
    DSWarmack Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 1,426
    I'm sorry for your loss. I fear that day more than any otheryou and your family are in my prayers.
  • rburke1129
    rburke1129 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 383
    So sorry for your loss brother. My father passed away suddenly about 2 years ago. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
  • Direwolf
    Direwolf Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,493
    Sorry for your loss dude.lost my pops.10 years ago..still expect to see him sometimes...hang in there
  • greg2648
    greg2648 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,422
    I am sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers.
  • BigT06
    BigT06 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,899
    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, brother. I literally just stopped what I was doing and said a prayer for you, and for your family. I can't imagine what you're going through. My dad is easily the greatest man, and single largest influence in my life. Do try to understand that tragedy will call out the natural leader in any situation. If that man is you, take pride in that, and do everything you can to be there for your family. But don't forget to take time for yourself to deal with your loss.

    I will keep your family in my prayers, and I will continue to say a prayer for you, personally, while you lead your family through this valley. If you need anything that I can provide, its yours.
  • jlmarta
    jlmarta Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,440
    Really sorry to hear of your loss, my friend. Seems to me to be somehow more difficult to deal with when it's sudden and unexpected like this. Try to be strong and know that you and your family are in my prayers.
  • Marker
    Marker Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,524
    You might not be ready for it emotionally, but mentally you are. From what you have already said you are dealing with it and taking care of people you know need it. Emotionally it will be hard and gets better every day, but really sucks at the moment. Right now the little things that you do for everyone will carry them, and you, along and give you strength. Keep a focused mind and be there for your family. After that the rest will come in time.
  • beatnic
    beatnic Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 4,133
    The day arrives for us all. We all wake one morning to find ourselves orphans. I know your pain. Peace brother. And keep your friends close.
  • skweekz
    skweekz Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,218
    Sorry for your loss brother. As always, don't hesitate to ask if there's anything you need.
  • jj20030
    jj20030 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 5,448
    sorry for your loss and have strength to be strong to pull your family together in this time, may your dad rip!
  • MVW67
    MVW67 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 5,447
    I am gravely sorry for your unexpected loss, I have been also dealing with pending loss of my father, He has chosen to discontinue chemo, and had most of the family in the past weekend to see him, the family is upset, and I kinda of told them we can't be selfish and think of him, the only thing we can do is help him be comfortable. We know it's coming but it does not make it easy. So my thoughts are with you and your family at this time. Mike
  • zeebra
    zeebra Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,166
    Oh man, I'm very sorry to hear that man, I really am! First, I would like to say may your father rest in peace! I hope everything works ok with your mother as well and you can be strong for the people that need you the most. I can't say I know your pain, but I really hope you are ok man and hope for the best! You and your family will be in my prayers!
  • Duke2
    Duke2 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 393
    I am very sorry for your loss and am sending prayers for you and your family.  My father is 91 and has Alzheimers so he could go anytime.

    If you need a shoulder to lean on or just need to talk I'm here for you brother.
  • ScottTDawg
    ScottTDawg Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 200
    VERY sorry for your sudden loss. Thoughts and prayers out to you and your family.
  • Heavy
    Heavy Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 1,590
    So sorry to hear bro. I don't have words to express, but just know thoughts and prayers are with you.
  • Rob1110
    Rob1110 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 1,454
    so sorry about your loss. My deepest sympathy to you and your family.
  • laker1963
    laker1963 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 5,046
    WoW, your dad went way too young. So sorry for your loss man. Our thoughts are with your family today. Very sad.
  • james40
    james40 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,450
    Man, I'm really sorry for your loss bro. Just remember that you need time to deal with this too. If you need anything, please let me know.
  • jsnake
    jsnake Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 5,037
    So sorry for your loss. It has to be especially tough since it was unexpected. Praying for you and your family.
  • spindrift
    spindrift Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 818
    Sorry to hear about your loss...This thread actually provided me with an opportunity to reflect on my own father's passing 2 years ago...You will get through this...Stay strong, but don't neglect what you need to do for yourself while helping others during this transition...
  • boydmcgowan
    boydmcgowan Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 1,101
    PsychoSJG:
    I dont really know what I'm doing, but I'm doing everything I can. I'm not ready for this.
    Thoughts and prayers are with you and yours right now Psycho. I quoted this part of your original post becuase it sounds like you already are ready for this even though you don't feel like it. The way it sounds like your reacting to the terrible news so far, sounds to me like you are handling it in a way that you should be proud of. I'm a firm believer that we aren't put in situations that we aren't ready for.

    Can't imagine what your going through man, stay strong brother, and cherish his memories and act on his teachings.
  • xIcedGuardianx
    xIcedGuardianx Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 873
    Sending prayers for you and your family.
  • kaspera79
    kaspera79 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 7,144
    Stephen , I am very sorry to hear this news.. I will pray for you and your family. Know that there are many friends here to stand with you, so stay strong.
  • The Sniper
    The Sniper Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,910
    I dont care how old you are, how it happens or how far out you see it coming - NO MAN who has a solid relationship with his father is ever ready to lose him. You have my deepest condolences brother, and I will be praying for you and your family in your time of grief. PM sent.