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The Sniper's Box

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  • docbp87docbp87 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,521
    mrpillow:
    I'd be more than happy to enlighten you as to the Beards location as long as I am adequately compensated...
    Traitor! The Beard will hear of this treachery!
  • Alex WilliamsAlex Williams Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 1,515
    mrpillow:
    I'd be more than happy to enlighten you as to the Beards location as long as I am adequately compensated...
    You are hereby and forthwith cast into eternal damnation. May all your cigars turn to cheap fake cubans and swisher sweets. Save for one... That one shall be an original release opusx but upon lighting it, the wrapper shall crack, canoe, and tunnell; the draw will be plugged; the smoke acrid, harsh, and slightly reminiscent of a mixture of someone else's boogers and ear wax. After being thoroughly dissatisfied with the opus, an angry midget shall spring forth from the dark crevices of your room only to kick you in the shins and flee only to return every night to rub icy hot on your genitalia. That is your punishment and may that little man be swift and fierce in his attacks upon thee who betrayeth The Beard!!
  • ejenne87ejenne87 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 1,921
  • RedtailhawkozRedtailhawkoz Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,914
  • HaysHays Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,262
    Alex Williams:
    mrpillow:
    I'd be more than happy to enlighten you as to the Beards location as long as I am adequately compensated...
    You are hereby and forthwith cast into eternal damnation. May all your cigars turn to cheap fake cubans and swisher sweets. Save for one... That one shall be an original release opusx but upon lighting it, the wrapper shall crack, canoe, and tunnell; the draw will be plugged; the smoke acrid, harsh, and slightly reminiscent of a mixture of someone else's boogers and ear wax. After being thoroughly dissatisfied with the opus, an angry midget shall spring forth from the dark crevices of your room only to kick you in the shins and flee only to return every night to rub icy hot on your genitalia. That is your punishment and may that little man be swift and fierce in his attacks upon thee who betrayeth The Beard!!
    Alex, not only is this awesome, but also far better than my typical go-to threat: "I'll light your nipples on fire"... needless to say, I carry my zippo with me at all times...
  • Alex WilliamsAlex Williams Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 1,515
    Hays:
    Alex Williams:
    mrpillow:
    I'd be more than happy to enlighten you as to the Beards location as long as I am adequately compensated...
    You are hereby and forthwith cast into eternal damnation. May all your cigars turn to cheap fake cubans and swisher sweets. Save for one... That one shall be an original release opusx but upon lighting it, the wrapper shall crack, canoe, and tunnell; the draw will be plugged; the smoke acrid, harsh, and slightly reminiscent of a mixture of someone else's boogers and ear wax. After being thoroughly dissatisfied with the opus, an angry midget shall spring forth from the dark crevices of your room only to kick you in the shins and flee only to return every night to rub icy hot on your genitalia. That is your punishment and may that little man be swift and fierce in his attacks upon thee who betrayeth The Beard!!
    Alex, not only is this awesome, but also far better than my typical go-to threat: "I'll light your nipples on fire"... needless to say, I carry my zippo with me at all times...
    hahaha thanks bro. have you ever done it? it sucks! if someone is really drunk. dare em to haha
  • denniskingdennisking Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,681
    so someone wants to send the Beard gifts and we're saying not too, is that weird. I don't get it.
  • RedtailhawkozRedtailhawkoz Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,914
  • mrpillowmrpillow Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 464
    Alex Williams:
    mrpillow:
    I'd be more than happy to enlighten you as to the Beards location as long as I am adequately compensated...
    You are hereby and forthwith cast into eternal damnation. May all your cigars turn to cheap fake cubans and swisher sweets. Save for one... That one shall be an original release opusx but upon lighting it, the wrapper shall crack, canoe, and tunnell; the draw will be plugged; the smoke acrid, harsh, and slightly reminiscent of a mixture of someone else's boogers and ear wax. After being thoroughly dissatisfied with the opus, an angry midget shall spring forth from the dark crevices of your room only to kick you in the shins and flee only to return every night to rub icy hot on your genitalia. That is your punishment and may that little man be swift and fierce in his attacks upon thee who betrayeth The Beard!!
    AHA! Your first mistake, my good sir, is assuming I smoke anything other than cheap fake cubans and Swisher Sweets. It would seem the joke is on you today!
  • denniskingdennisking Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,681
    I say we get the address and send a bottle of Jameson to the CCom offices so they can put it in their coffee.
  • jsnakejsnake Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 5,037
    Alex Williams:
    Hays:
    Alex Williams:
    mrpillow:
    I'd be more than happy to enlighten you as to the Beards location as long as I am adequately compensated...
    You are hereby and forthwith cast into eternal damnation. May all your cigars turn to cheap fake cubans and swisher sweets. Save for one... That one shall be an original release opusx but upon lighting it, the wrapper shall crack, canoe, and tunnell; the draw will be plugged; the smoke acrid, harsh, and slightly reminiscent of a mixture of someone else's boogers and ear wax. After being thoroughly dissatisfied with the opus, an angry midget shall spring forth from the dark crevices of your room only to kick you in the shins and flee only to return every night to rub icy hot on your genitalia. That is your punishment and may that little man be swift and fierce in his attacks upon thee who betrayeth The Beard!!
    Alex, not only is this awesome, but also far better than my typical go-to threat: "I'll light your nipples on fire"... needless to say, I carry my zippo with me at all times...
    hahaha thanks bro. have you ever done it? it sucks! if someone is really drunk. dare em to haha
    I had someone light one of my farts once and lets just say I am lucky I didn't end up with severe burns and a hospital visit. It was bad!
  • badge54fdbadge54fd Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 242
    jsnake:
    Alex Williams:
    Hays:
    Alex Williams:
    mrpillow:
    I'd be more than happy to enlighten you as to the Beards location as long as I am adequately compensated...
    You are hereby and forthwith cast into eternal damnation. May all your cigars turn to cheap fake cubans and swisher sweets. Save for one... That one shall be an original release opusx but upon lighting it, the wrapper shall crack, canoe, and tunnell; the draw will be plugged; the smoke acrid, harsh, and slightly reminiscent of a mixture of someone else's boogers and ear wax. After being thoroughly dissatisfied with the opus, an angry midget shall spring forth from the dark crevices of your room only to kick you in the shins and flee only to return every night to rub icy hot on your genitalia. That is your punishment and may that little man be swift and fierce in his attacks upon thee who betrayeth The Beard!!
    Alex, not only is this awesome, but also far better than my typical go-to threat: "I'll light your nipples on fire"... needless to say, I carry my zippo with me at all times...
    hahaha thanks bro. have you ever done it? it sucks! if someone is really drunk. dare em to haha
    I had someone light one of my farts once and lets just say I am lucky I didn't end up with severe burns and a hospital visit. It was bad!

    A Blue Flamer. Glad to hear you survived Jsnake

  • Alex WilliamsAlex Williams Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 1,515
    badge54fd:
    jsnake:
    Alex Williams:
    Hays:
    Alex Williams:
    mrpillow:
    I'd be more than happy to enlighten you as to the Beards location as long as I am adequately compensated...
    You are hereby and forthwith cast into eternal damnation. May all your cigars turn to cheap fake cubans and swisher sweets. Save for one... That one shall be an original release opusx but upon lighting it, the wrapper shall crack, canoe, and tunnell; the draw will be plugged; the smoke acrid, harsh, and slightly reminiscent of a mixture of someone else's boogers and ear wax. After being thoroughly dissatisfied with the opus, an angry midget shall spring forth from the dark crevices of your room only to kick you in the shins and flee only to return every night to rub icy hot on your genitalia. That is your punishment and may that little man be swift and fierce in his attacks upon thee who betrayeth The Beard!!
    Alex, not only is this awesome, but also far better than my typical go-to threat: "I'll light your nipples on fire"... needless to say, I carry my zippo with me at all times...
    hahaha thanks bro. have you ever done it? it sucks! if someone is really drunk. dare em to haha
    I had someone light one of my farts once and lets just say I am lucky I didn't end up with severe burns and a hospital visit. It was bad!

    A Blue Flamer. Glad to hear you survived Jsnake

    Done that. SUCKED! Burnt a hole in my lucky guinness boxers and singed my ass hair! Also hurt to sit for a few days.. I do really stupid things with fire ha
  • illinoisgolf99illinoisgolf99 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 1,507
  • jsnakejsnake Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 5,037
    Oh you guys are killing me. I didn't want to go there with the singed butt hair but since you all did yeah that is what happened.
  • The SniperThe Sniper Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,910
  • Alex WilliamsAlex Williams Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 1,515
  • RedtailhawkozRedtailhawkoz Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,914
  • jsnakejsnake Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 5,037
  • letsgowithbobletsgowithbob Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 676
    well google says he lives in allentown, and he's 91, and google never lies
  • cholmes8310cholmes8310 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 1,585
    So, I'm all for protecting the Beard, but can this really be that hard? you mail a box to CCOM's address, attn: Tim Blythe? Wouldn't that work? Works for every other business I know.
  • Alex WilliamsAlex Williams Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 1,515
    That addy is a warehouse many companies ship from, not their office (I believe).
  • cholmes8310cholmes8310 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 1,585
    Alex Williams:
    That addy is a warehouse many companies ship from, not their office (I believe).
    Yeah, good point. I thought about that, but their mailing address on here under contact us shows that same address. I don't know. The Beard isn't scared of a little bomb anyways. The bomb would fail to detonate in fear of the Beard's retaliation, which would surely be end-of-the-world type s**t
  • docbp87docbp87 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,521
    I'm more than willing to take one for the Beard. Send that bomb my way. I'll figure out which wires to cut!
  • lilwing88lilwing88 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,787
    Alex Williams:
    That addy is a warehouse many companies ship from, not their office (I believe).
    The Beard lives among the cigars, everyone knows that. If you put: "The Beard c/o A Big Mothertruckin Warehouse in PA, Aisle 22" on an envelope, it'll get to him...... true story.
  • denniskingdennisking Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,681
    lilwing88:
    Alex Williams:
    That addy is a warehouse many companies ship from, not their office (I believe).
    The Beard lives among the cigars, everyone knows that. If you put: "The Beard c/o A Big Mothertruckin Warehouse in PA, Aisle 22" on an envelope, it'll get to him...... true story.
    I actually LOL'd. If you guys want to find out where the offices are, just message Alex and tell him what's up.
  • Alex WilliamsAlex Williams Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 1,515
    dennisking:
    lilwing88:
    Alex Williams:
    That addy is a warehouse many companies ship from, not their office (I believe).
    The Beard lives among the cigars, everyone knows that. If you put: "The Beard c/o A Big Mothertruckin Warehouse in PA, Aisle 22" on an envelope, it'll get to him...... true story.
    I actually LOL'd. If you guys want to find out where the offices are, just message Alex and tell him what's up.
    The alex that knows everything! Not me.
  • cholmes8310cholmes8310 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 1,585
    Alex Williams:
    dennisking:
    lilwing88:
    Alex Williams:
    That addy is a warehouse many companies ship from, not their office (I believe).
    The Beard lives among the cigars, everyone knows that. If you put: "The Beard c/o A Big Mothertruckin Warehouse in PA, Aisle 22" on an envelope, it'll get to him...... true story.
    I actually LOL'd. If you guys want to find out where the offices are, just message Alex and tell him what's up.
    The alex that knows everything! Not me.
    HA!!! How many pm's did you get?
  • Alex WilliamsAlex Williams Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 1,515
    cholmes8310:
    Alex Williams:
    dennisking:
    lilwing88:
    Alex Williams:
    That addy is a warehouse many companies ship from, not their office (I believe).
    The Beard lives among the cigars, everyone knows that. If you put: "The Beard c/o A Big Mothertruckin Warehouse in PA, Aisle 22" on an envelope, it'll get to him...... true story.
    I actually LOL'd. If you guys want to find out where the offices are, just message Alex and tell him what's up.
    The alex that knows everything! Not me.
    HA!!! How many pm's did you get?
    Well actually none but I figures I'd better head that one off at the pass!
  • denniskingdennisking Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,681
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