Chuck Norris Jokes

These Filthy Hands

dutyje

I don't know why, but Chuck Norris jokes always make me laugh.

madurofan

dutyje:

I don't know why, but Chuck Norris jokes always make me laugh.

Same here. They're so dumb but its still hilarious.

madurofan

Besides being an award winning movie, Brokeback Mountain is also the name of the pile of dead ninjas in Chuck Norris' front yard.

Dude Love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8k3uGzgZIs

kuzi16

madurofan

Chuck Norris once visited The Virgin Islands, when he left the were known as The Islands.

alienmisprint

kuzi16

rmccloud

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer, to bad he never cries.

kuzi16

Jetmech_63

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar and it exploded 2 seconds later....no building can contain that amount of awesomeness

Garen B

plaidbanana1

When Chuck Norris jumps in a lake, Chuck doesnt get wet, the lake gets Chuck.

plaidbanana1

I once heard that Chuck Norris won a staring contest, WITH THE SUN.

urbino

Luko

These crack my *** up too.

kaspera79

I heard that Apple pays Chuck Norris .99 cents every time he downloads a song, and there is no Ctrl key on his computer, Chuck is always the one in control ! Hell, he can kill two stones with one bird.

kuzi16

chuck norris lost his virginity before his father.

j0z3r

kuzi16:

chuck norris lost his virginity before his father.

Chuck Norris never loses!

Dude Love

j0z3r

Some people say that a butterfly's flapping wings could have far reaching consequences on the other side of the world. The Butterfly was a poetic replacement for Chuck Norris, whose round house kick causes tsunamis in Japan.

urbino

Stoogee

Mr. T, Arnold Shcwarzzenger, and Chuck Norris are standing in front of God. God says to them,"I have call you three here because you are the greatest fighters in the world and I have a place for one of you at my right hand. You must prove to me whom of you it shall be." Mr. T steps and says "I pity the fool who doesn't let me sit at His right hand." God tells him that he was not good enough and sends Mr. T to hell. Arnold steps up and says "I was in predator, commando, the terminator. You must choose the governator." God tells him not good enough and sends Arnold to hell. God turns to Chuck Norris and say "Why should you sit beside me?" Chuck quickly proceeds to roundhouse kick God in the face and say "biitch your in my seat."

dutyje

ROFL, Urby!! Just keep trying, you'll get there

madurofan

dutyje:

ROFL, Urby!! Just keep trying, you'll get there

Just be careful talking bad about Chuck, he sees and hears all ...

Dude Love

urbino

Well, tell him to pack a lunch. I've got a burro and a tiny hockey player, and I'm not afraid to use them.

smbrink

Chuck Norris can kill you in 7 different languages. Chuck Norris once challenged The Great wall of China to a game of tennis...and won. Someone once bet Chuck Norris that he couldnt take a dump on the ceiling...Michael Angelo still owes him 20 bucks. When the Boogey-Man goes to sleep he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. A blind ma once bumped into Chuck Norris. Chuck then exclaims "Dont you know who I am??? Im Chuck Norris!" the mere mention of His name cured the man of his blindness...too bad the first and only thing he saw was the fatal round-house to the face. Chuck Norris' laughter can bring back the dead, Ironically the only time he laughs is after hes killed someone.

iwsmith2

Chuck Norris can kill 2 stones with 1 bird.

j0z3r

Chuck Norris is so fat, when his beeper goes off people think he's backing up.