Chuck Norris Jokes
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I could be wrong, I was once before, but I think this is the *** child of an unholy Chuck Norris - Yo Mamma union.j0z3r:Chuck Norris is so fat, when his beeper goes off people think he's backing up. -
Well, you're not wrong...and yet....
Oh, and can I recommend the use of "basterd" for future use, the filter doesn't catch it and it looks cooler. -
Which reminds me...What do you call a drunk man that doesn't know who his father is?
A plastered basterd. -
Oh. I thought you were gonna say Chuck Norris.
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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck norris?
all of it. -
I like basturdj0z3r:Oh, and can I recommend the use of "basterd" for future use, the filter doesn't catch it and it looks cooler. -
So do I...I'm officially adopting it.dutyje:
I like basturdj0z3r:Oh, and can I recommend the use of "basterd" for future use, the filter doesn't catch it and it looks cooler. -
Yeah, but then people will confuse fatherless children with sport fish fecal matter, and we all know where that leads.dutyje:
I like basturdj0z3r:Oh, and can I recommend the use of "basterd" for future use, the filter doesn't catch it and it looks cooler. -
Thanks, I just giggled like a school girl.urbino:Well, tell him to pack a lunch. I've got a burro and a tiny hockey player, and I'm not afraid to use them.
Urbino once split a burro from back to front with a tiny hockey player. Beat that Chuck ... -
Right now, Chuck Norris is plowing a woman that he dosen't love.
Nothing Chuck Norris touches turns to gold. It simply grows a beard.
Chuck Norris's beard hit .375 in the minors before hurting it's knee.
Chuck Norris wipes with 40 grit sand paper
The only time Chuck Norris has ever made a mistake was when he thought he was wrong.
Chuck Norris won the 1989 World Series of Poker with only a Get Out Of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs and a green Uno card. -
This is no accomplishment, anyone who has ever stayed in a hotel room has done the same.These Filthy Hands:Chuck Norris wipes with 40 grit sand paper -
I feel your pain. I know all about the motel toilet paper.madurofan:
This is no accomplishment, anyone who has ever stayed in a hotel room has done the same.These Filthy Hands:Chuck Norris wipes with 40 grit sand paper -
Chuck Norris likes everything he eats because his taste buds are afraid to make anything taste bad!
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What's behind Chuck Norris' beard...Another Fist!
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there are two types of women in this world:
1) women who have had sex with chuck norris
2) women who want to have sex with chuck norris again.
if you have ever met a woman with crooked teeth, you have met a woman who has given Chuck Norris a blow job.
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Death once had a Near-Chuck-Norris experience.
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Fixed that for youkuzi16:there are two types of burros in this world:
1) burros who have had sex with Duty
2) burros who want to have sex with Duty again. -
LMFAO!!!!madurofan:
Fixed that for youkuzi16:there are two types of burros in this world:
1) burros who have had sex with Duty
2) burros who want to have sex with Duty again. -
Chuck Norris has sex with every woman on the planet once a month. Following coitus, the woman bleeds for 3-5 days.
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basturdmadurofan:
Fixed that for youkuzi16:there are two types of burros in this world:
1) burros who have had sex with Duty
2) burros who want to have sex with Duty again. -
All of Jay-Z's 99 problems are Chuck Norris
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fantasticThese Filthy Hands:All of Jay-Z's 99 problems are Chuck Norris -
You laugheddutyje:
basturdmadurofan:
Fixed that for youkuzi16:there are two types of burros in this world:
1) burros who have had sex with Duty
2) burros who want to have sex with Duty again. -
so did youmadurofan:
You laugheddutyje:
basturdmadurofan:
Fixed that for youkuzi16:there are two types of burros in this world:
1) burros who have had sex with Duty
2) burros who want to have sex with Duty again. -
Chuck Norris once created a rock so big and heavy that not even he could life it. Then he lifted it just to show you who the f*ck Chuck Norris is!
Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice.
Sweden isn't neutral, they just don't know what side of Chuck Norris they are on. -
Indeeddutyje:
so did youmadurofan:
You laugheddutyje:
basturdmadurofan:
Fixed that for youkuzi16:there are two types of burros in this world:
1) burros who have had sex with Duty
2) burros who want to have sex with Duty again. -
There's no such thing as Evolution, only a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
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The only reason you're awake is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like carrying you.
Chuck Norris could strangle you with a cordless phone.
On every issue of TIME Magazine's Man of the Year, it says in small print at the bottom "besides Chuck Norris".
If Chuck Norris was on the Titanic, the icebergs would have moved out of the way. Unfortunately, he thinks Leonardo DiCaprio is a homo.
Chuck Norris can get breakfast at McDonald's after 10:30 AM.
Life doesn't give Chuck Norris lemons, it asks him what fruit he wants. -
you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink...unless you're Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
