An Old fellow is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock on the front door. There are two sheriff's deputies there. He asks if there is a problem.
One of the deputies asks if he is married, and if so, can he see a picture of his wife. The guy says "sure" and shows him a picture of his wife.
The sheriff looks and says, "I'm sorry sir, but I must tell you it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
The guy says, "I know that, but she has a great personality and is an excellent cook."
A 90 year old Irishman (no relation) walks into a Cathouse . The Madaam greets him, and as she is explaing the services offered, The old man slams his cane upon the desk and says "I want the Hottest Wildest woman you have in this here establishment" Well all the girls giggle and the Madaam says "are you sure, that will be xtra?" He says "Darn tooting" The Madaam says, "Well then that would be Sabrina room #8".. The Old man grumbles as he walks off to the room. He gets to the door, raps on it with his cane and enters. There in a swing is Sabrina, the sexiest woman he ever laid his eye on. With a look of disbelief on her face, Sabrina says "Old man are you sure you have got the right room?" He looks at her smiles and says, "Yup darn tootin" He then reaches in his pocket and pulls out what appears to be a medicine bottle,, Sabrina amused thinks to herself, This aught to be fun the old guy cant even get it up on his own, but she is suprised when he starts pulling cotton out of the bottle and sticking it in his nose and then begins to stuff his ears.. Sabrina says, "What in heaven are you doing old man"? The old man grins and says,, "Lookee hear theres two things I hate in this world, and thats the sound of a woman screaming and the smell of rubber burning"!!!Sabrina faints.
It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb).
The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet..
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
Women reading this will be finished now.
Men are still busy checking their thumbs.
Back in the days of the old teletype machines, a very wealthy old guy decides to spend some time at his lakeside cabin but when he gets there he realizes he doesn't have any boats there to fish from. He sends a teletype message to his butler instructing him to ship up 3 punts and a canoe. The butler sends back a message saying, "The girls are on the way. But what the h3ll is a 'panoe'?"
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