while not officially a diplomat, Tim "the Beard" has his own seat at the United Nations. He walked into the building by accident in 1992 and sat down in a seat reserved for the representative from Denmark, who chose to sit cross-legged on the floor rather than risk asking him to leave.
The Beard was once up on a murder beef, the jury found him guilty and sentenced him to death by hanging. The day came, the noose was fit around The Beards neck, the floor dropped, swinging from the gallows The Beard looked at the spectators, lit a stick, smiled and said "I wear nooses for neckties"...
Those of us with wives and girlfriends, know this, the only reason they are "with" us is because The Beard does not believe in polygamy, he invented it but doesn't subscribe to it...
"The Beard" was once in the world chess championship match. The game ended after 10 seconds when his opponent could not stop whimpering, toppled his own king and retired from the match.
Blackbeard the pirate originally called himself "The Bearded One" but he had a vision during a dream in which he was warned that one day the "Real Beard" would be revealed and that he was to change his name. He heeded the vision after waking up clean shaven.
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