A woman from Texas meets a wealthy woman from New York. The woman from Texas asks, "Where are you from?" The woman from New York says, "I am from a place where we know better than to end a sentence with a preposition!" The woman from Texas very politely replies, "Oh I'm terribly sorry. Then where are you from...b*tch?"
two newly weds getting ready to consummate their marriage when the wife speaks up and says 'I have a confession -I'm not a virgin -their was one guy before you. The husband says well in this day and age thats not surprising who was he anyway? Tiger Woods she replies. The golfer he exclaims . Yes she says. Well he's famous,rich,good looking I guess I can understand that. So they make passionate love. When their done the hubby heads for the phone to call room service. What are you doing the new bride asks. He replies 'calling room service I'm hungry. Tiger wouldn't do that ! Yeah hubby says 'what would tiger do? He'd come over here and make love again. So the hubby does. he gets up to call room service again. Again the same thing from the wife 'thats not what Tiger would do! This goes on three more times. Finally totally wiped out the husband staggers to the phone. Are you calling room service the new bride asks. NO I'M CALLING TIGER TO SEE WHAT PAR IS FOR THIS DAMN HOLE !!!
Ok two quickies ......... since the season is coming ........ use them for a gauranteed laugh......
What do rednecks do on halloween? ........................... Pump-Kin
Why cant ghosts have babies? .............. Because they have Hallo-Weenies
I know cheesey but good.
An asian couple prepared for their wedding night. The bride was a virgin but her husband was not (unbeknownst to her). He was trying to hide the fact that he was indeed experienced by trying to act shy so she wouldn't suspect him. She said that she would be willing to try anything he wanted to because she had never done anything like this before. Trying to be innocent he told his wife that he had heard of this thing called "69" and he wanted to try it. she replied "You want to try a shrimp fried rice?"
Why is a beer better than a woman?
A beer wont get jelous if you grab another beer.
Why is a beer better than a woman?
A beer is always wet.
Why is a beer better than a woman?
When you are done with a beer the container is worth $.05
A man boarded a plane with 6 children. After getting them all settled in their seats a woman leans over and says 'are all those kids yours?' No, replied the man. I work for a condom company and these are customer complaints I'm taking back to the home office !
Comments
Whats the difference between jelly and jam?
You can't jelly your dich up a girls a$$