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The Official Tim Blythe's Beard Appreciation Thread

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  • HaysHays Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,262
    Garen B:
    Diamondog:
    Redtailhawkoz:
    it is Rumored that HAYS is beggining to Grow and Beard to Challlenge Tim B....... The BEARD..... Cant wait to see this!
    Tims beard just snuck up on Hays' and shaved it off......contest OVER....
    Actually Tim's Beard just threatened to shave Hays' beard and Hays' beard hairs fell out.
    LMAO

    Actually, though The Beard is comprised of diamond-sharp straight ligero hairs, I have contracted with our resident Alien to construct a new beard of my own of an amazing, indestructible material known as dontfuckwithmeium.... ;-)
  • ljlljl Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 819

    Tim's beard...Febrezes itself!
  • cholmes8310cholmes8310 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 1,585
    Diamondog:
    Henri Loyrette director of the Louvre Museum in Paris announced today;

    "The Louvre Museum is proud to have reached a tennative agreement with Tim "The Beard" for a special exhibit of several of Tims beard hairs, scheduled to be on display starting May 1, 2010"

    No further details are available at this time on duration of the exhibit or financials. There is speculation that the museum is in negotiatians for a long term exhibit and are prepared to spare no expense so that "The Beard" is displayed in all its glory.....
    But this cannot be, as a previous post pointed out that the beard cannot be shaved. So how are they acquiring these hairs?
  • DiamondogDiamondog Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 4,169
    cholmes8310:
    Diamondog:
    Henri Loyrette director of the Louvre Museum in Paris announced today;

    "The Louvre Museum is proud to have reached a tennative agreement with Tim "The Beard" for a special exhibit of several of Tims beard hairs, scheduled to be on display starting May 1, 2010"

    No further details are available at this time on duration of the exhibit or financials. There is speculation that the museum is in negotiatians for a long term exhibit and are prepared to spare no expense so that "The Beard" is displayed in all its glory.....
    But this cannot be, as a previous post pointed out that the beard cannot be shaved. So how are they acquiring these hairs?
    If "The Beard" agrees anything is possible....
  • TatuajeVITatuajeVI Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,378
    Diamondog:
    cholmes8310:
    Diamondog:
    Henri Loyrette director of the Louvre Museum in Paris announced today;

    "The Louvre Museum is proud to have reached a tennative agreement with Tim "The Beard" for a special exhibit of several of Tims beard hairs, scheduled to be on display starting May 1, 2010"

    No further details are available at this time on duration of the exhibit or financials. There is speculation that the museum is in negotiatians for a long term exhibit and are prepared to spare no expense so that "The Beard" is displayed in all its glory.....
    But this cannot be, as a previous post pointed out that the beard cannot be shaved. So how are they acquiring these hairs?
    If "The Beard" agrees anything is possible....
    Yes, even if The Beard must construct a new shaving device made up of Triple Ligero beard fragments.
  • lilwing88lilwing88 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,787
    TatuajeVI:
    Diamondog:
    cholmes8310:
    Diamondog:
    Henri Loyrette director of the Louvre Museum in Paris announced today;

    "The Louvre Museum is proud to have reached a tennative agreement with Tim "The Beard" for a special exhibit of several of Tims beard hairs, scheduled to be on display starting May 1, 2010"

    No further details are available at this time on duration of the exhibit or financials. There is speculation that the museum is in negotiatians for a long term exhibit and are prepared to spare no expense so that "The Beard" is displayed in all its glory.....
    But this cannot be, as a previous post pointed out that the beard cannot be shaved. So how are they acquiring these hairs?
    If "The Beard" agrees anything is possible....
    Yes, even if The Beard must construct a new shaving device made up of Triple Ligero beard fragments.
    This one is easy........ Tim's beard will just grow another beard, donate it, and write off $2.5 million on his income tax.
  • fla-gypsyfla-gypsy Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,023
    According to the ancient Mayan Calender in the year 2012 all beard hairs worldwide will simultaneously fall out in deference to Tim's Beard, known around the world as "The Year Of The Beard" The hieroglyphics clearly show a bearded serpent called Kukulkhanligero, which translates "the great serpent with ligero hair".
  • DiamondogDiamondog Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 4,169
    I heard Tims beard does Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap...any truth to this?
  • Garen BGaren B Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 977
    Diamondog:
    I heard Tims beard does Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap...any truth to this?
    Tim's beard is like the Godfather, it has lesser beards do the deeds so nothing gets traced back to The Beard.
  • FourtotheflushFourtotheflush Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,555
    Diamondog:
    Henri Loyrette director of the Louvre Museum in Paris announced today;

    "The Louvre Museum is proud to have reached a tennative agreement with Tim "The Beard" for a special exhibit of several of Tims beard hairs, scheduled to be on display starting May 1, 2010"

    No further details are available at this time on duration of the exhibit or financials. There is speculation that the museum is in negotiatians for a long term exhibit and are prepared to spare no expense so that "The Beard" is displayed in all its glory.....


    I got through the 1st line of this and figured that this was serious!

    Then realized! Oh yeah, this is the TB appreciation thread! Too funny! Too gullible!!

    Need more coffee



  • DiamondogDiamondog Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 4,169
    Fourtotheflush:
    Diamondog:
    Henri Loyrette director of the Louvre Museum in Paris announced today;

    "The Louvre Museum is proud to have reached a tennative agreement with Tim "The Beard" for a special exhibit of several of Tims beard hairs, scheduled to be on display starting May 1, 2010"

    No further details are available at this time on duration of the exhibit or financials. There is speculation that the museum is in negotiatians for a long term exhibit and are prepared to spare no expense so that "The Beard" is displayed in all its glory.....


    I got through the 1st line of this and figured that this was serious!

    Then realized! Oh yeah, this is the TB appreciation thread! Too funny! Too gullible!!

    Need more coffee



    Oh it's real alright.........
  • NYHCx516xNYHCx516x Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 728
    I wonder if tim reads this thread to cheer up if hes having a bad day. How can you read this and NOT laugh out loud. :)
  • lilwing88lilwing88 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,787
    NYHCx516x:
    I wonder if tim reads this thread to cheer up if hes having a bad day. How can you read this and NOT laugh out loud. :)
    Tim never needs cheering up. His beard gives off oils that contain Zoloft.
  • j0z3rj0z3r Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 9,403
    lilwing88:
    NYHCx516x:
    I wonder if tim reads this thread to cheer up if hes having a bad day. How can you read this and NOT laugh out loud. :)
    Tim never needs cheering up. His beard gives off oils that contain Zoloft.
    Tim actually invented and patented Zoloft in a quest to find something, natural or chemical, that would calm the rage of The Beard whenever it was around inferior beards. He finally realized there was no quelling the rage so he moved from his home in Amish country, gave up the patent on Zoloft and began a new life in the city as a cigar.com consultant, and every so often in the Philadelphia news papers you'll read stories of another attack on a sparsely bearded person...so the legend goes.
  • FourtotheflushFourtotheflush Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,555
    NYHCx516x:
    I wonder if tim reads this thread to cheer up if hes having a bad day. How can you read this and NOT laugh out loud. :)


    This is what FML is for!

  • DiamondogDiamondog Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 4,169
    Tims beard oils are the active ingredient in Viagra...men and women around the world thank "The Beard"
  • docbp87docbp87 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,521
    As a fellow beardo, I have to say, I am a huge fan of Tim "The Beard" and of the person growing around him and wearing him on it's face. This thread is awesome, and only makes me want to continue using Cigar.com as my only source of cigars.
  • DiamondogDiamondog Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 4,169
    "The Beard" will make several cameo appearances in the upcoming season of Entourage....
  • lilwing88lilwing88 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,787
    Tim's beard ordered me NOT to go to White Castle tonight...... I was powerless to it's commands. I am thoroughly enjoying my glass of water and apple right now!
  • denniskingdennisking Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,681
    They say that Osama bin Laden is dead and has been, I happen to know that he died the day his beard left and migrated to Tim. The beard knew his new host was a much better person but still a mastermind and ninja rolled into one.
  • clearlysuspectclearlysuspect Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 1,750
    Tim's Beard knows how many digits there are in Pi.
  • DiamondogDiamondog Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 4,169
    clearlysuspect:
    Tim's Beard knows how many digits there are in Pi.
    Of course it does, it is Pi....
  • DiamondogDiamondog Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 4,169
    Here's somethin neat.....put on a pair of 3D glasses and check "The Beard" out....
  • docbp87docbp87 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,521
    Every time I pass a mirror now, I grab a cigar and make this face:
    image


    I have a pretty badass beard... but it pales in power. I consider it a minor player in THE BEARD's army of BOTLS.
  • ljlljl Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 819
    Heard the beard illuminates under black light...trippy!
  • DiamondogDiamondog Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 4,169
    I am currently in negotiations with this imposter for the page.....we are getting closer but the 11th hour is approaching....I may just have to enlist the services of the sniper....

    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Tims-Beard/187818180108
  • fla-gypsyfla-gypsy Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,023
    Diamondog:
    I am currently in negotiations with this imposter for the page.....we are getting closer but the 11th hour is approaching....I may just have to enlist the services of the sniper....

    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Tims-Beard/187818180108
    No one, having seen an image of "The Beard" would ever be taken in by that rank amateur imposter. The beard has issued a "razor contract" on the imposter. Our instructions are " To hack it off on sight by any means necessary"
  • HaybletHayblet Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,400
    Tim's Beard can slam a revolving door while smoking a Cigar and not ash. (also a bit of thread necormancy but hey it's a good one)
  • Smoke=FireSmoke=Fire Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 682
    The Shroud of Turin actually contains an image of Tim's Beard...hence its ability to perform miracles.
  • xmacroxmacro Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,402
    If you film The Beard and watch it on your tv, it'll appear in 3D. If you put on 3D glasses while watching, you'll see The Beard in 4D. Yes, I said 4D - The Beard is always one dimension ahead.
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